Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 110624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 442(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 442(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Past the living room, there were two bedrooms on each side of the hallway and a bathroom straight ahead at the end. Ryan told me he would leave my room door open and there was a sticky note on the first door on the left that said “Nina’s Room.” A smiley face was drawn next to my name, which immediately gave me some comfort in an otherwise nerve-wracking situation.
I wheeled my suitcase inside and plopped the duffel bag on the full size bed. The walls were a pale gray, and there were no windows. This room was definitely going to need some sprucing up, and I couldn’t wait to go shopping tomorrow. I was too tired today to deal with redecorating.
I unzipped my suitcase and started to unpack when I suddenly noticed that there seemed to be low music coming from one of the bedrooms. The doors were closed, so I had initially assumed no one was home. I cracked my bedroom door open to listen in and suspected it was coming from the room diagonally across at the far end of the hallway.
Then, I heard a girl’s laugher over the music. Crap. I wasn’t ready to meet anyone. I stayed still, wondering whether I should just hide in my room and pretend I wasn’t here or go across the hall to say hello.
Before I could think it over, I heard a male voice moaning. Then, the girl moaned too.
Shit. They were having sex.
I stayed still, pondering whether I should just quietly sneak out of the house and go shopping now instead of tomorrow. It would be awkward running into them, if they knew I had heard them.
After ten minutes of trying to ignore the bed squeaking amidst “oh yeahs” and “aaahs” from the very vocal female participant, I decided to hightail it out of there.
I was lingering behind the entrance to my room, about to make my exit, when the door across the hall abruptly burst open releasing the sound of metal music and laughter. I froze behind the door, unable to open or close it completely, for fear of being found out. So I stayed still, peeking through the slightly open crack.
All I could see were feet pass by my room, but couldn’t make out faces. The male was tall with dark clothing and the female had a large purple rose tattoo on her ankle.
They were talking and laughing in the living room for a few minutes, and then I heard some keys and a door slam.
The apartment then turned eerily silent. Relieved, I concluded that they had left together.
Thank goodness that was over.
I spent the rest of the afternoon alone in my room unpacking. After my clothes were put away, I meandered out to the kitchen to make some chamomile tea and relax while I got accustomed to my surroundings. As I was pouring the boiling water, I heard the front door latch.
“Neeners!” Ryan shouted as he noticed me in the kitchen.
I placed my tea on the counter and ran over to my old friend, hugging him tightly. “Hey! I made it.”
“You did. How was the ride?” he asked.
“Not bad, just a couple of hours by bus and I took a cab here.”
“A cab? Must have been expensive. You didn’t want to take the subway from the bus station, huh? I figured.”
I looked down at my feet. “No, I’m not there yet. I have to work on that.”
Ryan had known me since I was ten and was best friends with my older brother, Jimmy. As a result, he was like a brother to me too and knew way more than he should about me, not all of it good.
Ryan sighed. “So, we’re still not taking subways, not riding in elevators, not flying. What else are we afraid of these days? Our own shadow?”
“We are working on it, Ry…I told you.”
He shook his head and tapped my shoulder lightly. “It’s only gonna get worse, Nina.”
The truth was, as of the past few years, irrational fears had started to rule my life. I avoided certain situations like the plague and would go to great lengths and inconveniences to do so, like taking a bus instead of flying from New York to Texas to visit my friend in Houston, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator.
Over the years, the situation had gotten progressively worse and was quite paralyzing. It kept me from doing things that I would have loved, like traveling the world. A couple of years ago, at its worst, I had started to develop a full-blown fear of leaving the house. Through cognitive behavioral therapy, I was able to overcome my agoraphobia. So, I had come a long way, but there were still a lot of phobias that remained.
This all started one day with a panic attack in high school. We were on a field trip to the New York Public Library, and a few classmates and I got stuck in a dark elevator. I had begun to hyperventilate and thought I was going to die. Fifteen minutes later, the elevator moved, but the post-traumatic stress from that moment stuck. I have gone out of my way ever since to avoid crowds, subways, planes, heights, enclosed spaces or anything else that made me feel trapped.