Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 110624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 442(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 442(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Her spit sprayed my face when she said, “I fucking hate you, Jake.” I pushed her into the passenger seat and shut the door. Those words went right through me. As I started the car, she turned away from me looking out the window. I looked over at her, feeling helpless, not sure if I should take her home this time.
I just sat there with the car running. I couldn’t fucking do this alone anymore. Ivy’s mother died shortly before we got married. She had no father in the picture and no siblings. I was all she had. It was the reason I was still here.
Taking her to a hospital had been something I’d been avoiding. I was scared for her, what they might do to her there. Visions of padded white walls and isolation haunted me. I thought I could keep her safe myself, but I was losing control faster than she was losing her mind. My poor Ivy. This wasn’t her fault.
She turned and looked at me, and I knew she was coming out of it. Each episode was like a cycle. It always passed, but once she came through it, a new one was never far behind. Feeling defeated and hopeless, my chest tightened as I reached for her hand. I almost wished, this once, she stayed out of her mind, so that she didn’t realize what was about to happen. Because as we pulled out of the lot, I knew that this time, I wasn’t taking her home.
***
“Where are we?” she asked when we pulled up to a large brick building just outside Boston.
We hadn’t spoken the entire ride to the hospital.
I touched her hair gently. “We’re going to get you help, baby girl.”
I helped her out of the car, and this time, she didn’t resist.
A couple of days later, she was still admitted when the doctor pulled me into his office. I knew something was coming, but I was never going to be ready to hear it.
I was looking at the pictures of the doctor’s smiling children as he said, “Mr. Green, your wife has schizophrenia.”
I continued to stare blankly at the photos. A snapshot of a little boy lifting a fish on a boat would forever be etched in my mind as the image I was looking at when I heard those words come out of the doctor’s mouth. The rest of that one-sided conversation was a blur that I could only recall bits and pieces of.
Auditory Hallucinations
Delusions
Anti-psychotics
Manageable with meds
No cure
No cure
No cure
He was sending us home with a few prescriptions for medications to start.
Ivy took my hand as we walked through the hospital’s revolving doors that symbolized our new normal, in and out of hospitals until I would eventually reach my breaking point.
CHAPTER 22
I took a cab from the hospital to my sister Allison’s house in Brookline. Ivy had stayed sleeping, so I decided to get some sleep myself. I’d go back to the hospital in the morning.
I had placed a quick call to Nina around midnight, letting her know everything was okay here and to reassure her about us, but I could tell by the tone of her voice, she was scared. Who could blame her? She needed to know what the fuck was going on with me, but I wasn’t about to tell her everything about Ivy over the phone.
Allison and Cedric had a big Victorian-style house with plenty of space, so I always crashed in their guest room on weekends. They weren’t expecting me on a weeknight, though. I knew my nieces would be asleep and hoped someone would be up to let me in.
Crickets chirped as I waited out front wondering if I should text one of their cell phones because I didn’t want to ring the doorbell and wake the girls.
Then, I remembered that my sister left a spare key under a rock in the side yard, so I grabbed it and let myself in.
My eyes nearly bled as I entered the living room to the sight of Cedric’s bare ass…while he was mounting my sister on the couch.
I covered my face. “Aw, man, what the—”
“Jake?” I heard my sister’s voice but refused to open my eyes.
“What the fuck are you doing here on a weekday in the middle of the night?” Cedric growled.
“Haven’t you guys heard of a bedroom?” I said with my eyes still shut.
Cedric chimed in. “Haven’t you heard of a fucking knock?”
When I opened my eyes and got a look at my sister, I couldn’t help but laugh. She was wearing red thigh high boots and was dressed as…oh, Christ. “Seriously? What the hell are you wearing? Are you supposed to be fucking Wonder Woman?”
Allison blushed and covered her face. “Shut up. He likes it. Sometimes I wear it.”
“Gross. That’s my sister, dude. You are one sick fuck.” I glared at Cedric.