Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 92930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Replace Fear of the Unknown with Curiosity.
The next stop was Park Street. Vaguely, it registered that Park Street was where I could switch to the Red Line train. The Red Line would take me to Dorchester. Dorchester was where Ivy lived.
I wouldn’t admit to myself that I was actually considering going there. If it became truth, I would lose the courage to do something that might be necessary for my own mental health. Maybe I would just peek in the window. Maybe I wouldn’t actually say anything to her. But it just suddenly became clear to me that as long as Ivy was a faceless monster in my head, the fear of the unknown would always be there. How could you tackle a fear if you didn’t really know what you were dealing with? I took one last look at the words responsible for catapulting an ordinary day into one I hoped I wouldn’t regret for the rest of my life.
Replace Fear of the Unknown with Curiosity.
I stood up and clung to a metal pole as the trolley came to a stop.
After dumping change into the open guitar case of a man performing on the platform below, I waited anxiously for the next train—the train that would take me to Ivy’s neighborhood. I’d ordered a gift basket for the staff at the group home once as a favor to Jake, so I knew the address. I’d even stalked the house a few times on Google Earth, squinting my eyes to examine every last detail as if I’d get a glimpse of her.
Once on the train, I checked my phone. No text from Jake. Even though I’d told him not to text me, I was surprised but thankful that he listened. I wasn’t sure I could have gone through with this if he’d sent a message that made me feel guilty.
The announcement for my stop amped up the adrenaline running through my veins. “Fields Corner!”
As I exited the train, I took out my phone and entered the address into a GPS application.
It would be about a ten minute walk to the group home. As I followed the route, my mouth was parched, and my heart was beating out of control. With each step forward, doubt spread like wildfire. I wasn’t sure I could go through with it.
The automated voice stopped me in my tracks. “You have arrived.”
I looked up at the giant three-story home. Brown paint was chipping off the siding of the exterior. A wooden plaque with the word Welcome carved into it hung on the front door. Wind chimes dangling from the top of the front porch abruptly rang out in the breeze as if to warn me to turn around and leave.
I walked around the side and peeked through a first floor window. Two women were preparing food in the kitchen. The muffled voice of a man singing somewhere inside the house could also be heard.
This was a bad idea. They weren’t going to just let me in. What would I even say? I needed to leave, but at the same time, I’d come all the way here and at least, hoped for a look at her.
I returned to the front of the house and stood frozen outside of the door.
Before I could garner the courage to knock, the door flew open.
A heavyset woman with short cropped hair stood before me. “I saw you standing on the porch from the window. The doorbell is broken. You must be Shari.”
It felt like all of the saliva had drained from my mouth. “Uh…yeah? Hi.”
What was I doing?
She boisterously waved her arm behind her shoulder. “Well, come on in.”
“Thanks.”
“No. Thank you for doing this on short notice. We’ve had a shortage of volunteers lately. They didn’t tell me which day you were coming, just that they’d try to send you whenever you had some time.”
She thought I was a volunteer.
“So, I don’t know if Valerie told you, but really, it’s just basic stuff we need help with…floors, the two bathtubs, most of the deep cleaning that gets neglected. You okay with getting on your hands and knees?”
“Uh…sure.”
I followed her down a hallway as she spoke. “I can’t tell you how much we appreciate this. With budget cuts, the state only sends a cleaning service out once a month now. And that’s just not enough. We have twelve adults in this house. Our priorities are keeping them safe, and that means that the cleaning goes to hell.” She reached out her hand. “I’m Nadine, by the way.”
I took her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“All the cleaning supplies you should need are in that utility closet. You should start with the floors downstairs then make your way upstairs to the bathrooms. We have one of those fold-out yellow signs that says ‘wet floor.’ You can place it down in the center of whatever room is wet then move it around as needed as the floors dry. You don’t need to do the bedrooms, just the main living area floors downstairs and the bathrooms. Should take you about two hours.”