Total pages in book: 64
Estimated words: 57897 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 289(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57897 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 289(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
Finding that thong just threw me completely off. I didn’t even know what I was supposed to think. Actually, I knew exactly what I was supposed to think. I wasn’t the only woman he was warming his bed with, despite what he led me to believe. I wasn’t even the only woman in recent times. Another woman and I had been there in such quick succession Jason didn’t even have the opportunity to notice a pair of panties under his bed. Either that or he did notice them and just didn’t have the decency to pick them up.
That thought only made the situation worse. I didn’t want to think part of the fun for him was knowing he was building some sort of collection and he had evidence of it readily visible for the next in line.
The whole situation made me angry and sad. I was so mad at being played, at being lied to. It made me feel used and silly. I didn’t want to venture too close to thinking of myself as stupid because that would be putting too much blame for his horrible behavior on me, but I was getting close.
I forced myself to eat breakfast and drink my coffee while planning out what I was going to do that day rather than continuing the venture down the path of thinking about Jason. There was a lot to do in the trailer, but there was also the mystery of the big house on the property. That seemed like too massive an undertaking for me to want to face that day, so Saturday was dedicated to the trailer.
Going through the packed space was like searching through a time capsule of my family. I didn’t know much about any of them, and now that I was living in the same space they did, it felt appropriate to learn more. I found myself feeling closer to them as I found memorabilia of their lives and the time they spent here on the farm.
It was interesting to discover that they’d remained unmarried, living their entire lives just with each other, devoted to the Christmas tree farm and their work there. They were extremely close, but it was that closeness and the sisterly love they shared that ended up causing so much loneliness and sadness for the final sister, the one my mother was closest with.
A stack of letters I found described how Maisie couldn’t stand to live in the house alone after her sister had died. She’d abandoned the house and moved into the trailer, willing to spend the rest of her days there in the much smaller space, surrounded by her sister’s belongings, than have the sadness of rattling around in the big house by herself.
Finding all that out and going through the possessions inside the trailer spurred me on to explore the actual house. There had to be so much more in there, so many memories. I wanted to see what it was like and really find out what kind of condition it was in. Mr. Warren had mentioned it wasn’t livable , but that could mean any number of things. I wanted to see it for myself and determine what kind of work would be needed to bring it back to what it used to be.
I worked late into the evening, then ordered pizza for dinner.
I kept working for a little while after making the call, then went for a shower. It felt good to be fresh and clean when I climbed out, and just as I was getting dressed, a knock on the door announced the arrival of my dinner. I had a great sense of accomplishment when I curled up in the corner of the couch with a plate of pizza and one of the books I’d found on a shelf in the bedroom. I’d managed to do a lot of sorting, throwing away things I couldn’t see a lot of value in holding on to and packing up boxes of things I didn’t want to discard but didn’t know what to do with yet.
The next morning, I woke up refreshed after sleeping deeply all night. After a quick breakfast and an extra cup of coffee to fuel me through what I could only imagine was going to be a long, hard day, I packed a bag with supplies I thought I might need and headed for the house.
It was even more impressive as I got closer to it than it was from the car when I drove past that first day. The land around it was trying to reclaim it with vines and trees, leaving it overgrown and a bit spooky from the outside, but it was clearly a great house. Huge and ornate, it was obviously once a glorious home. Walking up onto the gracious wraparound porch, I peered into the windows, making me even more intrigued and excited to get inside.