Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 67905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 226(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 226(@300wpm)
“I don’t want to forget you,” he said. “And I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.”
With the paintings as our witnesses, we were delving into a conversation I’d never expected to have on a rainy afternoon like this. Time had moved with a painful slowness, the weight on my chest seeming to grow heavier, not lighter.
“You shouldn’t be with him, Astrid. You deserve better.”
“There is no better,” I said. “Because all men are the same.” They were all lying cowards. They all took the easy way out. They swore to be protectors, but they broke the things they swore to protect. I should have been reason enough for my father to stay, but he loved my mother more than he loved me, so the choice was easy. It all started there, and every man I’d come across on my journey had turned out to be more of the same.
“I know that I hurt you, sweetheart.” He lowered his voice. “But I’m not the same.”
My eyes flicked away as my heart grabbed the plaster and sealed the crack in the wall. I’d let him in so deep, and now he wouldn’t even make it an inch past my surface. No one would.
“Let me prove that to you.”
My eyes found his. “I’m married, Theo.”
“Leave him.”
“I already left him, remember?” I could feel the points of the daggers in my eyes, feel the urge to strike and carve flesh. I remembered the moment like it was yesterday, from what we wore to where he stood in the suite to how he smelled. I remembered his villainous stare, the coldness that froze every surface of the furniture. “I begged you to give us a chance, and then the very next day, you were done. Didn’t even last a day.”
He let the silence pass. It was unclear whether he had no defense or he was thinking of one. “I wish I could explain my behavior that day, but I can’t. I ask you to remember the man who you saw. Who you’ve seen since the beginning. Pardon my crime and give me another chance.”
“Last time you spoke, you said you had nothing to offer me.”
“Yes. But I’m willing to try.”
“Well, I’ve seen you try before. And look how that worked out.”
“Astrid.”
I wouldn’t look at him.
“Sweetheart.”
I swallowed.
His fingers gently touched my chin and turned my gaze back to him. “Please.”
I hadn’t felt him touch me in what felt like an eternity. His fingers were still warm. Still soft. He still had that same pull on me, like a magnet the size of the moon.
“I haven’t been with anyone since I changed your tire in the rain. Since the moment my mouth claimed your lips in my name. I took you to dinner because I enjoyed listening to every word that came out of your mouth. I haven’t felt this way in a long time, and I’m sorry I was too much of a coward to say it.” His eyes flicked back and forth between mine. “But I’m saying it now. I can’t promise you this will end the way you want. As husband and wife with a couple kids climbing all over the furniture. But I can promise you that I’ll try. Try to take it slow. One day at a time. Start at a crawl and work our way to a walk. And then maybe, one day, we’ll run.”
Was I the biggest idiot in the world for wanting to believe him?
For being tempted…just for a moment?
I knew he was the one I really wanted because he was the first one I’d called. But he didn’t answer.
Bolton did.
He’d saved my life. Saved me from something even worse. Maybe Bolton didn’t give me everything I wanted, but I couldn’t depend on Theo to give me anything. “It’s too late, Theo.”
“It’s not too late—”
“I’ve made my choice.” I stared at him resolutely, confident in my decision. “I don’t feel the same way I did before.”
“I deserve a clean slate.”
“Maybe you do. Maybe everything you’ve said is true. But everything that’s happened is permanent, and the feelings they evoked are also permanent. I can’t change the way I feel. I can’t trust someone after they’ve given me a reason not to. I can’t expect them to pick up when I call, when they didn’t pick up when I needed them most.”
His eyes narrowed slightly as he examined my face. “That’s not fair—”
“I know it’s pathetic, but I need a man to take care of me. I need a man to protect me. Bolton has always done those things, and I know he’ll always do those things. Say whatever you want about what he did, but he didn’t sneak around behind my back. He spoke to me directly. He doesn’t say he wants me one day and then doesn’t the next. Nothing he’s ever done has hurt me nearly as much as you have.”