Total pages in book: 50
Estimated words: 47521 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 238(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47521 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 238(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
I shake my head. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
He looks so angry, and each word he says his voice is hard and void of emotion. “I was ready to put you first. I know how I feel, but I can’t fight your past. Your dad was a shitty dad. Your ex was a shitty boyfriend. I’m not him. I’m not them.”
I start to sob, and it wracks my body. I try to stop, but I can’t control it.
He’s mad, but he still pleads with me. “Please, stop crying, Cass. I can’t stand to see you cry, and you’re going to get another migraine.”
It’s then I know I’ve messed up. I can feel the anger vibrating off him, but he’s more concerned about me than letting that stop him from making sure I’m okay. “Cassie, what I want more than anything is to hold you right now, but you don’t want to let me. I’m going to leave because then maybe you’ll stop crying. Let me know when you’re done with this ‘pause.’”
With his hands fisted at his sides, he walks away. Before he crosses over the threshold, he stops but doesn’t look at me. “Don’t forget to take your medicine and put an ice pack on your head.”
He’s out the door when I cry out his name. “Baker!”
But he doesn’t stop. When the door slams shut, I drop to my knees in agony. What have I done?
CHAPTER 22
BAKER
I almost called in today.
I wanted to, but I knew if I stayed home, I would go crazy. So here I am at the station being an asshole to anyone that tries to talk to me.
I’ve tried to convince myself that it’s fine and Cassie will come to her senses, but it’s been over twenty-four hours and not a peep. I did talk to my dad just to check on her, and he told me she went to bed last night with a migraine but was better this morning when she left for school.
There’s a knock on my door, and I call out, almost angry that I’m being interrupted from my thoughts of Cassie, “What?”
Shit, I know I need to check my attitude, but right now everyone’s going to have to put up with ‘asshole Baker.’
My sergeant opens the door and levels me with a look. JB has been my mentor since I started the force. He was my only contact to the outside world when I was undercover. He’s a brilliant man, and I’ve learned a lot from him. He definitely doesn’t deserve my attitude.
“I’m about to go across town and check something out. Can you walk me out?”
I sigh and put my hands on the top of my desk and push myself up. This isn’t the first time he’s asked me to walk him out. Sometimes it's to invite me to dinner with him and his wife, and sometimes it's when he wants to talk to me about something private.
I follow him outside, and the whole walk to his car, he doesn’t say a word.
When we stop next to the squad car, he crosses his arms over his chest. “All right, spill it.”
Confused, I ask him, “You wanted to talk to me.”
He nods knowingly. “Yeah, to figure out what’s going on with you. You’ve been preoccupied, and you know you can’t do that with this job.”
I know he’s right, but I still try to defend myself. “This is Whiskey Run, JB.”
He raises a hand and points at me, “Yeah, bad things happen everywhere.”
Fuck, I know he’s right. From my years on the force, I know that bad things can happen at any time, anywhere. I have no excuse to act the way I’m acting now. I can save my bad mood for home. Here, on the job, I need to be alert. For my own safety and the safety of my brothers in blue.
“I know. And you’re right. I’ll get my shit together.”
He tilts his head and looks at me with doubt. JB and I know each other well, and I know he’s not going to stop until I talk to him and tell him what’s going on with me. “I told you about Cassie.”
He nods, encouraging me to go on. I know that Cassie and I weren’t going to tell anyone about us, but JB guessed there was something going on the night that Colby ran away. He said he saw sparks flying between us, and I believe him. “Well, she said she wanted us to ‘pause’ last night.” I run my hand through my hair. “Hell, I don’t even know what ‘pause’ means.”
He’s quiet, waiting for me to continue. “She’s afraid it will mess with our family. She thinks I’m just going to dump her in a few weeks and we should just end it now.”
“Damn, you’re so crazy for her it’s almost sickening, Baker. I’ve never seen you like this.”