Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71911 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71911 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
He flinched slightly at my choice of words. “It wasn’t premeditated.”
“Then you’re lying. Which is it?”
His eyes narrowed slightly on my face.
“I know you. You’re a good man, Theo. You wouldn’t act like this—”
“You don’t know me, Astrid. You know my surface and my craters, but you don’t know my icebergs hidden in my depths. When I told you I had nothing to offer, I meant it. That’s what I’m offering you now—nothing.”
“You said you would try—”
“I said I would see where it goes.”
“So you went home after you fucked me and just decided you already knew the destination before you stepped foot on the road?” I asked incredulously. “Where’s the man who came into the gallery because he could see my despair through the window? Where’s the man who said I deserved the world and the heavens too? Where’s the man who picked me up when I could barely stand—” I stopped because my voice started to shake, my shell starting to crack and expose the geysers underneath. “You are not that man. You—you’re a—”
“Changeling,” he said. “Yes, that’s exactly what I am.”
I stared.
He stared back.
The silence stretched. The conversation seemed to be over. My heart was already broken from Bolton, but Theo seemed to step on the shards and grind them into beads of sand. I was lost, but my guiding star had vanished in the storm clouds. I’d never felt more alone than I did in that moment.
Theo continued to stare, as if he expected more from me.
It took a moment to collect my thoughts. “I feel like I’m looking at a puzzle with a missing piece. A portrait with a color removed. A story without a setting. Because you may think you’re a changeling, that you don’t belong where you stand, but that’s not what I see when I look at you.”
There was a flinch in his eyes, so subtle I wasn’t sure if it really happened.
“I’m not going to convince someone to be with me. I’m not going to beg you to stay or tell you how much you mean to me, not when you already know the depth of my feelings that I’ve never had the courage to even whisper. But I want to know—why?”
He stared at my eyes and said nothing.
“Why won’t you try?”
He didn’t answer the question.
“Because Bolton broke my heart and shattered my trust, but I would try again…with you.”
His eyes flicked away again.
“Because I know it would be different with you.”
He continued to avoid my stare.
“Theo—”
“It’s not about trust, Astrid.”
“Then what is it about—”
“Let it go.” Instead of raising his voice, he lowered it, like he didn’t have the energy to fight my stream of questions. “I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. I can never offer you the things you want. I’m a great lover and a great friend—but that’s it.”
“With me, you were both.”
He stared.
“That’s all I want, Theo. I just want to try—”
“I’m done with this conversation, Astrid,” he snapped. “I’m done with you. I’m done with us. Is that clear?”
His abrupt change in attitude was so harsh it felt like he’d shoved me against the wall. He lashed out, and it nearly knocked the wind out of me, left gashes in my lungs so I couldn’t breathe. “Why are you acting like this—”
“Because I’m dumping you, and you lack the grace to accept it.”
His claws made me bleed. I felt it ooze down my arms to my fingertips. My lungs took a harsh breath, and then I held it, my face feeling hot and my eyes suddenly tired. My snowcaps melted, and the dam in my throat struggled to hold back the water that wanted to gush from my eyes. “Alright…I accept it.” I stepped away and moved toward my suitcase on the other side of the room, pretending to return to my packing as if the conversation had never happened. “You can let yourself out, Theo.” I grabbed a stack of my sweaters that had been folded on the dresser and placed them on top of my jeans and skirts, focusing on the heels that I placed in the bottom of the suitcase, reading the brand of each one just so I had something to focus on until he left.
It took a moment for him to take a step. I imagined he stared at my back and watched me pack up my things. His first step was audible. And then the next one…and the next.