Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
But at least I felt like me.
When I looked at my phone, I saw dozens of messages I’d missed because I’d been knocked out cold for almost an entire day. There were even more missed calls from my guys because they were afraid I was dead.
I showered then sent off quick messages to everyone to let them know I was alive and well.
Well, alive at least…
A message from Astrid popped up on my phone, like she could somehow hear me move around through the walls. Are you awake?
It was one of the rare days when I ditched my daily gym session. Didn’t have the discipline for it today. Yes.
Her dots were instant. Can I come see you?
I appreciated that she asked instead of barging inside. I wasn’t in the mood to talk or explain what happened, but I couldn’t avoid the situation. Yes. I tossed the phone aside then looked at myself in the mirror, seeing how thin I looked after skipping protein and liquids for an entire day. My muscles weren’t swollen like usual. If I stepped on a scale right now, I’d probably be ten pounds lighter.
She came in a moment later, wearing a summer dress cut low in the front. She should be at work right now, but she seemed to have blown it off so she could wait for me to wake up. She was barefoot as she stepped onto my plush rug, her eyes guarded like she didn’t know if she was walking straight into a hurricane. She kept her distance, like I was a bear that might maul her face. “How are you feeling?”
All I could do was stare at her, admire the way the blue color of her dress complemented her so well. Her hair was straight and brushed back away from her beautiful face, showing the contours of her high cheekbones, the fullness of her lips. “Better.”
She didn’t fire off questions. She just stared at me with concern. “I’m sorry you had such a rough night. I’m here if you want to talk…but no pressure.”
I’d expected her to storm in here and scold me for being out all night and then rip me apart for drinking like a madman, but she didn’t do either. And she didn’t interrogate me either. It made me want to pull her close rather than push her away. “I’m sorry I made you worry.”
Her kind eyes looked at me with all the love she didn’t have to voice. It was written on her face, every day, long before she’d told me how she felt. “I’m just happy you’re okay.” She forced a smile onto her lips, but it made her eyes emotional, like she really had been worried.
Like a magnet to steel, I closed the gap between us and moved into her. My arm slid across the small of her back, and I pulled her to me, my other hand automatically sliding into her hair as my lips rested against her hairline.
She physically sank into me, and she released a sigh of relief.
I held her like that for a long time, her touch chasing away all my sorrow like a sheepdog that chased away the wolves. My heart rate started to slow, my body relaxed. Peace came to me like a fog that slowly rolled in over the city.
After a while, she tilted her head back to look at me, her small hand cupping my face as she looked at me, really looked at me. Looked at me in a way no one ever had before. “I love you.” She rose on her tiptoes to kiss me before I had a chance to say anything back, like she didn’t expect me to say anything back.
She just wanted me to know how she felt. Said what was in her heart the moment she felt it. Put herself out there even though another rejection would hurt. It was the most selfless thing I’d seen anyone do.
To love someone without expecting to be loved in return.
She never asked me what happened with Axel.
Two days went by, and we spent many of those hours in bed. I took her out to dinner in the evenings, but we spent most of that time staring at each other across the table without saying a word.
She didn’t tell me she loved me again, but it was always written on her face. Every moment she looked at me. Every moment we were together. She and Axel looked nothing alike, but they looked exactly the same when they wore that look. It was the same expression he showed whenever Scarlett walked into the room, whenever he spoke about her and she wasn’t around.
But I still couldn’t say it.
We were on the couch with the game on, her body snuggled into mine under the blanket as she slept against my arm. The ice in my drink had melted a long time ago on the coffee table because I was unable to reach for it without waking her up. But that was fine with me.