Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 72658 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72658 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
My friends were there too, ready to rehearse a wedding I didn’t even want to have.
Axel’s eyes found mine across the room, and he stared like he always did, stared so hard it carved into my skin.
I left my coat on because I was cold, my arm still through my father’s.
Axel crossed the room and approached me, dressed in slacks and a button-up shirt, his sleeves pushed to his elbows. One look at my father made him disappear. Then Axel extended his hand to me, his strong eyes locked on mine.
I felt the stares of everyone around us. Some people knew this was fake and some people didn’t, so their perception of this moment was probably polarizing.
He spoke with a gentle voice. “Come on, you can do this.”
I stared at his hand before I finally took it. It was the first time I’d touched him, and to my horror, I felt a flash of emotion, of electricity, even warmth. My eyes remained down so he wouldn’t know what I felt.
But he squeezed my hand—like he did know.
The dinner was held at my father’s house, with drinks and appetizers in the parlor and then dinner in the dining room. With red cheeks from the wine and booze, everyone laughed and had a good time. My father did too, talking with his brother and his wife, boasting about how excited he was that his little girl was getting married.
It was such a shitty night.
I avoided Axel most of the time, and after the rehearsal, that was easy to do because he wasn’t around much. He wasn’t in any room that I walked into, wasn’t talking to any of his friends, completely absent.
Then I looked out the window into the night and saw Axel and Theo sitting outside, at the very table where Axel and I used to talk, and they each smoked a cigar as they thrived in the cold, neither of them wearing jackets.
I drank my wine as I stared at them, wondering what they were talking about. I watched Theo pat Axel on the shoulder before he put out his cigar and came inside. When the door opened, the cold air flooded into the house as a draft, and then a moment later, it was warm again.
Axel remained alone outside, and I wondered if he was having second thoughts.
When Theo saw me staring out the window, he came to my side. “His parents refuse to come to the wedding. He’s taking it pretty hard.” He stared at Axel with me, his body inches from mine. “I’m sure he could use some company.” He gave me a hard look before he turned and rejoined the party.
I stared at the back of Axel’s head, seeing him slouched in the cold, metal chair, the smoke rising from his mouth to the cold sky. His glass of scotch was there too, the air so frigid that the ice cubes didn’t melt.
I grabbed my coat from the rack then walked outside.
He turned his head at the sound of my heels, probably expecting anyone but me to brave the weather to join him. His stare was hard at first, but it slowly softened at the sight of me, and he looked a little surprised. He pulled out the chair for me without getting out of his and then put out his cigar.
I bundled the coat right around me and cinched the sash at my waist. “You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s rude to smoke in front of a lady.”
“I really don’t mind.”
“Well, I do.” He grabbed his glass and took a drink before he stared at the fountain and the olive trees on the property. A string of white lights was strung across the terrace, and there was a fire pit in the center, but it was too far away to provide warmth.
We sat in silence.
I wasn’t even sure why I’d come out here.
He drank and didn’t make small talk, his mood sour.
“Theo said your parents aren’t coming.”
He stared straight ahead. “I knew they wouldn’t. I’m not sure why I bothered asking.”
I looked at the side of his face, seeing the hardness of his jawline, the vapor of his breath that disappeared into the dry air. “I would want my father there, even though this isn’t real.”
He stared at his glass for a moment before he looked at me, his blue eyes deep and broken. “It’s real to me.” As if we were back in time, he looked at me the way he used to, like he could stare at me forever.
When I couldn’t handle the look anymore, all the pain it caused me, I glanced away. “I’m sorry they won’t be there tomorrow.”
“I wanted them to meet you.” He looked forward again, returning his glass to his lips. “They would have loved you, and I think you would have liked them, if this were five years ago.” He took another drink, leaving the glass empty. “There are days when I’m fine with it, and there are other days when I’m not fine with it. I’m sure you can figure out what kind of day this one is.”