Total pages in book: 295
Estimated words: 282090 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1410(@200wpm)___ 1128(@250wpm)___ 940(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 282090 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1410(@200wpm)___ 1128(@250wpm)___ 940(@300wpm)
The sight eases some of the tension in my chest. No one would ever believe that scary, badass Xaden Riorson would tie anyone’s shoes.
“I thought you were going to kill her,” he says quietly.
Right. Back to Cat.
“I almost did.” I lower one foot, then raise the other at his cue. “Would that have been unforgivable to you?”
He finishes tying my boot, then lets go of my foot. “Nothing you could ever do would be unforgivable to me.” Stepping back, he leans against the edge of the table again. “And I don’t particularly care if Cat lives, but I’m not cheering for her to die, either. She’s a necessary yet volatile ally, and Syrena would be a disastrous enemy to make. But I do care that you would have regretted killing her.”
And in that rage, I would have if he hadn’t shown up.
“How could you ever love someone like her?”
“I didn’t.” He shrugs. “You are the first and only woman I’ve ever loved.”
“You were just engaged to her for…” I pause. “I don’t even know how long you were engaged for.” I feel…stupid.
“I would have told you if you’d asked. That’s the problem here, Violet—you don’t ask.”
“It’s not like you ask me about my exes.” I cross my legs.
“Because I don’t want to know, which I suspect is the same reason you continue to not ask me about the things that actually bother you, but let’s just ignore that like we usually do. Seems to be working out for us.” He lays the sarcasm on thick.
I look away because he’s right, damn him. Avoiding the potentially devastating questions, like why he’s never told me about the deal he made with my mother, seems prudent when there’s a possibility of losing him over a wrong answer.
He moves on when I fall quiet. “Cat and I weren’t engaged, we were betrothed—and yes, there’s a difference to me.”
“Now who’s arguing semantics? Let alone on behalf of the woman who just warped all of my emotions and turned me into an abyss of rage.” Some of which is creeping back in.
“We’ll get to that in a second. The betrothal clause of the alliance kicked in when she turned twenty.” The table creaks as he fully sits back against it. “We tried it out for about three-quarters of a year, but we weren’t compatible, and it came to light that Tecarus was never going to let us have the luminary anyway. He wanted us to use it there. I ended the betrothal, which, as you know, caused some problems.”
“Weren’t compatible?” I can’t blame the insidious stab of jealousy on Cat this time. That burning sensation in the pit of my stomach is all me. “That’s not exactly what she implied about your sex life.”
“You don’t have to like someone to fuck them.” He shrugs.
My jaw slackens, considering what we just did.
His head tilts as he watches me. “As I recall, you didn’t exactly like me the first time—”
“Do not finish that sentence.” I jab my finger in his direction.
“On the other hand, I was already in love with you.”
My posture softens. That right there is why I’m hopelessly in love with him. Because no one else gets to see him like this. Just me.
“Hardly seems fair, now that I think about it.” He drums his fingers on the table. “And I wanted you too badly to care that you didn’t feel the same way about me, not that I’d given you any reason to. Fuck, I wanted you to run in the opposite direction.”
“I remember.” Our gazes lock, and my fingers curl with the need to touch him. I reach for the conduit instead.
“Good. Maybe you’ll remember that the next time Cat goes digging around your head.”
“Digging? She made me jealous!” The word is bitter on my tongue.
“She didn’t make you anything.”
Felix won’t miss the conduit if I throw it at Xaden’s head, will he? “Oh really? You heard what she said. How would you feel if one of my previous lovers had you on the mat for a challenge, then told you that he knows how I taste?”
He tenses.
“How I feel on top of him?” I lower my tone, letting sex slide over every single word. “How he had me first and insinuates that he plans on having me last, too?”
His jaw flexes, and shadows curl around the legs of the table. “She wasn’t my first by a long shot.”
“Not the point. You want me to ask more questions? Then don’t avoid them.”
“Fine. None of your previous lovers are riders, unless there’s history I’m unaware of when it comes to Aetos, so they’d never have me on the mat. I’m guessing infantry, but again, I don’t want to know, so I don’t ask.”
“I didn’t sleep with Dain.” But he’s ridiculously on the mark with the infantry guess.