Total pages in book: 31
Estimated words: 29394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 147(@200wpm)___ 118(@250wpm)___ 98(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 29394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 147(@200wpm)___ 118(@250wpm)___ 98(@300wpm)
“I’ve fucked you into a stupor?” I run my fingers up and down her back. “Is that what you’re saying?”
“Definitely.” Her voice is already softer, her body going more lax.
“Are you falling asleep?”
“Nuh-uh.” A softer whisper.
I lower my voice. “Are you lying?”
My question is met with the softest exhale, her breathing getting deep and even. I hold her, relishing this moment together, this beginning. Because that’s what it is. The start. She’s mine now, and I’m never letting her go.
20
CADENCE
Istare at the empty side of the bed. Once again, I’m waking up alone. I shouldn’t be shocked, but still it burns. He couldn’t be bothered to stay for some cuddling? Sassy is curled up in the spot Vargas should be in.
“I don’t know what to make of him, Sassy.” I give her a scratch under her chin, making her purr loudly. “Am I overthinking this?” I ask my cat, but she doesn’t answer.
I’m starting to think I might need to get some girlfriends to talk about these things with. I know zero about dating unless it was from a book or TV. The one date I’d gone on through the dating app was a total bust.
I bet if I did have somebody to ask, they’d say I’m being clingy. That the man has a life, and I can’t expect him to lie around in bed with me. Even if he did take my virginity. I sit up, flipping the blanket back to reveal my naked body. My eyes are immediately drawn to the evidence of what we’d done. It coats the inside of my thighs. My face rushes with heat along with a few other parts of my body at the memory of how it got there.
I should grab my stuff and go stay with my dad. I don’t want to, but then maybe I’ll seem cool and not too needy. Is that what I’m supposed to do? Pretend that us having sex was normal and I can be nonchalant about it? Will that make me cool? He can text me when he gets a chance, and then I won’t respond because hey, I can be totally busy too. Why is this so hard?
It suddenly dawns on me when thinking about having to stay with my dad that I was supposed to meet up with him for lunch. Vargas caught me off guard and then I passed out. I’m so dead. I spring up from the bed, searching for my phone. Sassy watches me, not helping at all. Typical.
“Hey, you’ll have to live with him too,” I tell her right as I find my phone and see the time. I shoot off a text to my dad letting him know I’m headed his way before I scramble to get myself together. I have no time for a shower. I try to smell myself, wondering if I smell like a man.
It doesn’t matter. I’ll just keep my distance. I shove everything into my bags after I get myself dressed.
“Let’s roll.” I pick Sassy up and put her in her carrier. If I’m going to my dad’s for lunch, I might as well get all my crap together. Vargas said he had my locks handled but didn’t want me to go back to my place yet. His words had been laced with a white lie. One that I’d forgotten about because the man is rather distracting.
At least when I see my dad I can try and dig some information out of him about Vargas. I wonder where their deal stands at the moment and if I’ve gotten myself in the middle of it. It’s not somewhere I want to be, in between the two men that I love.
“He’s not using me for the deal,” I say defensively to Sassy. Not that she asked. She only meows from inside of her carrier, not wanting to leave the comfort of Vargas’s home. Probably thinking we're going back to my small apartment and she’ll no longer be living in luxury.
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch sight of the sheets. My eyes widen. I put Sassy down and grab the sheets, ripping them off the bed. I stand there not sure what to do with the blood-stained bedding. This is all Vargas’s fault. I shove them under the bed because why not? I’ll tell Vargas to burn them later when he texts. If he texts you, I remind myself.
“Whatever.” I huff, getting more flustered. My mind is racing in a thousand different directions. I push all the random thoughts I’m having aside, knowing I’m being irrational. Or am I?
I scoop all my crap up and head out of my bedroom wondering how the hell I’m going to get out of here. Do I call a Lyft? When I make it downstairs, I don’t spot anyone. I creep over to Vargas’s office door and hear voices from inside.