Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Without waiting for an answer, he walks into the house.
Mom flinches at the sound of the door slamming since she’s so unused to Dad being angry at home. But her smile gives me hope.
“Is this real?” she asks.
When we both nod, she goes on, “Silas, you have to promise me you really want this. With everything you have.”
“I swear, Tessa,” Silas says. “I know this isn’t ideal. I know that’s an understatement, but there’s nothing fake here.”
“This is it, Mom,” I tell her. “My chance at everything I’ve ever wanted for my life with the man I love.”
Silas and I stare at each other, into each other, but then Mom stands, disturbing the moment.
Rightfully so. We’ve got no business gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes here, now.
“I’ll talk to your father,” Mom says. “But for the time being….”
Silas takes the hint, standing, leaving me with the word love bouncing around my mind, with my heart aching as I wonder if we can ever truly experience it.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
Silas
It’s only been four days, I tell myself as I walk Buster through the park.
He’s at my side, walking steadily in the lead beneath the street lamps, keeping close as though he can sense the hunger trying to break out of me.
Julian hasn’t been coming to work. Luckily, word of my scuffle with Logan has stayed out of the media. A few rumors are circulating online, but nobody recorded the quick exchange and nobody took any photos.
It’s a lucky break, but I’d rather be featured in every media outlet in the world, looking crazed and aggressive, than exist like this.
Not knowing how Julian feels, not being able to see my woman.
We haven’t spoken since I left the house, knowing we can’t do anything else until Julian tells us he’s okay with it.
Or he tells us we have to end it.
What the hell would I do?
I’d have to move away. Live on the other side of the world, build a life that would have me pumped full of adrenaline as often as possible, the only way not to think about her.
And even then, how long would I be able to keep that up?
Buster stops, sitting on the path, tilting his head as he stares up at me.
“What’s wrong, boy? Come on.”
I give his leash a light tug, normally enough to get him moving, but he stays where he is with a tilt to his head like he’s angry with me or curious about why I’m emitting so many bad-mood signals.
I realize it’s fair to Buster to have to deal with me feeling this way all the time.
I’ll have to fight it.
But how can I fight my instincts, my purpose for living?
“The whole future’s crumbling, boy,” I tell him, walking over and stroking his head softly. He nuzzles my leg, something he rarely does. “I knew this was a possibility. But….”
I trail off as people walk by, continuing the rest in my head. I don’t want anybody to think I’m talking to them, to have to maintain the façade of feeling normal.
There’s nothing normal about being apart from my woman.
My cell phone rings. I almost want to ignore it, but my position as CEO and founder doesn’t stop because my heart is breaking in two.
We said I love you, took that vital step, and now it could all crumble to shit.
And the worst thing is that we can’t blame anybody except ourselves.
Or me, since I’m the one who started it, the one who pounced on her like the beast she makes me.
I could’ve waited. I could’ve asked for Julian’s blessing first.
I flinch when I see his name.
Along with a photo of us atop a mountain, arms around each other. He’s calling me.
“Hello,” I say, voice tight as I sit on a nearby bench.
Buster sits at my feet, looking up at me, a curious glint in his eyes as though he knows how important this conversation is.
“I’ve just spoken with Lauren,” he says, his tone difficult to read.
“I told you before,” he goes on, his tone getting warmer. “I want her to have the right man. I know you. I know you’ve waited. I know you’ve never played the field. I know that once you commit to something, you do it fully. But I need to ask you something before I tell you what I said to Lauren.”
“Anything,” I say, my heart pumping hard in my chest when I think about my woman and wonder if we could have our future after all.
The tattoo itches on my back as though reminding me…we haven’t finished yet.
“Will you ever hurt her?”
“No,” I say, voice getting husky with emotion.
“Will you always treat her fairly?”
“Always,” I say fiercely. “For the rest of our lives.”
“I can’t say this isn’t strange,” Julian says, his tone getting even lighter, tempting me with thoughts that it might all be okay. “But Lauren has always known what she wants. I can tell – with both of you – you’d be far less happy if you didn’t get to be together. And since it’s for life…forever, there’s no danger of it becoming untenable.”