Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
But I keep wondering if that will be too far…or, if it isn’t, how we’ll ever tell Dad.
“I’ll listen,” I finish.
He looks up. “Thanks. It’s a cruel thing, really twisted that you’re Julian’s daughter.”
I remove my hand as though the mention of Dad’s name causes me pain.
“I know,” I say quietly. “When I walked into your office, I didn’t think you even recognized me.”
“I didn’t,” he says. “I just saw….”
“What?” I urge, sure he was going to say, my woman.
“A beautiful woman,” he says. “A woman who’s starting to make me become obsessed with her.”
“Obsess, you?” I whisper, moving closer, wishing we could kiss, knowing we can’t.
“That’s right,” he says, holding my gaze steadily. “But it will ruin Julian’s life. It would kill him.”
“Do you think so?” I ask.
Silas tilts his head at me. “No man wants to learn that his daughter and his best friend are dating.”
The word dating makes it sound so much smaller than this is.
I wonder if I should tell Silas – But maybe he’d understand if we said we wanted to spend our lives together. There’s a chance he might…if we were forever.
“Thanks for sharing all that stuff with me,” I say instead. “I know it must’ve been hard. And I’m sorry for throwing it in your face. I hate that I did that.”
“You didn’t know who she was,” Silas says. “Now you know why this tattoo means so much. I miss him. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”
I apply the needle again and, for a little while, I work in silence.
Then a thought occurs to me.
“Silas, you said the nightmares have stopped?”
“Yeah,” he replies.
“By staring at that piece of paper?”
“Yeah. But it’s more than staring.”
I wipe at his skin carefully, focusing on my work but also invested in the conversation. I wonder if this is the start of feeling like a tattooist, not being so absorbed I can’t also speak with the client.
Or maybe it’s just because everything’s easier with my man.
“What do you mean?”
“I stare at her name, at what I did when I wasn’t aware of it, and I remember all the pain. I remember hearing what she did to my dad. I make myself face it. I think that’s what does it—staring right at it. But only when I’m holding the paper. The rest of the time, I ignore it.”
“You face up to it…alone,” I murmur. “That’s brave.”
But we’re not facing up to much else.
“I’ve never had somebody to talk about it with before.”
“You do now,” I say, voice heavy with emotion.
After a pause, he says, “Have you ever jumped out of a plane, Lauren?”
“No,” I reply with a nervous laugh. “The idea terrifies me, honestly. I’ve been scared of it ever since I was a kid, and Dad first told me he’d done it. Jimmy wants to do it, though.”
“You could do it,” Silas says, with warmth in his voice. “You’re braver than you think. I’m wondering…maybe I should take you up. We could skydive together and share a meal.”
“Like a date?” I ask.
We’ve both acknowledged how unfair this is on Dad, and yet we’re arranging dates anyway. We’re slapping him in the face with every single word.
But we can’t stop.
“Exactly like a date,” Silas says passionately.
“But I’m not sure I can….”
“I’ll be the lead diver,” he tells me. “Our bodies will be pressed right up against each other…I won’t let anything happen to you. Despite my reputation, I don’t take stupid risks…often, anyway.”
“That fills me with confidence,” I say ironically.
We laugh together, and it just makes me so warm, so fuzzy, and full of hope for the future.
If we can delve into so much darkness and come out laughing, surely there’s something here.
“But I’m not sure it’s my thing.”
“Trust me,” he says firmly. “I’ll keep you safe. And I know you’re braver than you give yourself credit for.”
But Dad would hate us if he knew we were even talking about this.
“I trust you.” I softly guide the needle across Silas’ skin. “And yes, I’d love to come. It sounds like a….”
“A date?” he says. “You don’t have to be shy with me.”
“A date,” I say firmly.
With the man I’ve crushed on for years.
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
Silas
“She really is talented,” Julian says as I lift my shirt to show him the tattoo’s progress.
We’re in my office, just having concluded one of the final meetings to finish the deal. There will be no surprises now, except maybe a few disgruntled whiners who wish they could sell their customers’ data.
But other than that, we’re sailing toward the biggest win of our careers.
And I’m tarnishing it with what I’m planning to do.
Something changed between Lauren and me yesterday when we talked about Vanessa. I had finally opened up about that hellfire in my past, and it felt good.
I’m going to meet her this afternoon, a car will bring her to the helipad…and then the helicopter will take us away so we can pretend there’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing.