Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 115997 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 580(@200wpm)___ 464(@250wpm)___ 387(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115997 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 580(@200wpm)___ 464(@250wpm)___ 387(@300wpm)
“We were blacked out,” I said, grabbing hold of my focus with mental fists. “That’s why I couldn’t call you. Julian’s parents were on vacation, and they couldn’t find them to notify them, and since they had our cell phones, they kept them so someone didn’t run their mouth before they could be told through official channels.” The little blue box in my hand shifted, the edges giving way, and I eased my grip. “At first, I didn’t believe them, the cadre, I mean. I thought it was all part of the final interview, seeing how I’d cope with that kind of news. I mean, I’d just seen him and he’d been . . . him. But then a couple days passed, and they didn’t release us, even the washouts. And that’s when I realized it was all my fault.”
“Nate,” she whispered, glancing back over her shoulder at the closed door. “Why don’t we go somewhere?”
Because she didn’t want me in there with her father.
“I can’t. I have to get this out now. There are people waiting for me, and I have to know what you want, so that I’ll know what to choose, Izzy.” It all made sense in my head—at least that part—but it was coming out so jumbled.
The box. Right. The box would ask the question for me.
I opened my right hand, flicked the top of the box open with my thumb, and turned it toward her.
“Oh my God.” Her hand rose to cover her mouth.
“I know it’s probably not what you were expecting. I picked it out about a year ago, and then I second-guessed it about fourteen times. You come from money, and I know you would probably have wanted something bigger—”
“Nate, is that what I think it is?” Her wide eyes jumped from the ring to my face.
“It’s an engagement ring.”
Her mouth opened, shut, and then repeated. “You can’t seriously be proposing right now.”
“I am.” I nodded, my stomach twisting into a series of knots that had my head swimming.
“No. You’re not.” She shook her head. “I know that you’re not because you promised me you’d never do this, never shove a ring at me and ask me to give up everything I’ve worked for without giving us a chance to build something first. Weren’t those your words on that beach?”
“Don’t you see? It’s the only way we can be together. I’ve fought it for so many years, thinking this life wouldn’t be fair to you, that you deserved so much better—and you still do, but I love you, Isabeau. I’ve only loved you. I’ll only ever love you. And I was supposed to do this in the water, or maybe even the plane—kind of circle back to how we met, you know?”
“I know,” she whispered, her hand falling to the rise of her chest as she stared at me with shock. At least I thought it was shock. It could have been horror or even fear.
“But then Julian . . . died, and I realized that it just as easily could have been me. It should have been me. And I knew that I’d wasted too much time protecting you when I should have been giving you a choice, and I’m so sorry.”
“Nate, I don’t think you’re thinking clearly. You seriously want us to get married when I’ve never so much as seen where you live? We’ve never spent more than a week together at a time—”
“Nine days,” I argued.
“I don’t even know where you are half the time, or what you’re being selected for. Listen to yourself.”
“Exactly.” Shit, I was doing this wrong. “But you love me, and I just need you to choose, Iz. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll let you all the way in. I’ll tell you what I can, and we’ll go back to North Carolina together. Or I’ll get out if that’s what you want.”
“What?” Her eyebrows hit the ceiling. “You don’t want to get out. You’ve never wanted that.”
“But I would if it meant keeping you. I’m in, Iz. I made it. And I know you don’t really know what that means, but say the word and I’ll walk away. We’ll walk away. Just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it,” I begged. The choice was hers. I was hers.
“You can’t ask me to make a choice like that for you, Nate.” She shook her head. “That’s not fair. And the worst part is that you’ve shut me out for so long that I don’t even know enough to help you make that kind of choice.”
Her door opened. “Isa—”
Izzy reached back and yanked the door shut, closing it on her father.
Her father. I blinked as the pieces clicked. “He said you’re breaking your lease. Moving?”
“Yes.” War waged in her eyes. “No. I don’t . . . I don’t know. I don’t really want to, but it would finally make them happy, and I think they’ve really done some soul-searching and . . . changed. I mean, they actually came when I needed them.”