Total pages in book: 176
Estimated words: 167257 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 836(@200wpm)___ 669(@250wpm)___ 558(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 167257 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 836(@200wpm)___ 669(@250wpm)___ 558(@300wpm)
It was the truth—if only part of it.
I didn’t mention the letter that had led me straight into the heart of their den. I’d gotten it the same day my eyes were opened to Sutton and Sienna’s betrayal. I’d rushed to the dorm I shared with Sienna to ask her advice and walked in on my best friend since third grade, moaning and bouncing all over my high school sweetheart’s dick like there was no tomorrow. In all the years since Sutton had taken my virginity, I had never ridden his stubby little dick with that much enthusiasm.
I remembered standing there in disbelief as I watched them fuck each other in my bed but not much else.
One moment, I was standing in the doorway, that damn letter falling to the floor forgotten, and the next, I had a fist full of Sienna’s quick weave as I yanked her off my bed and my man. I must have dragged her naked body out into the hall where I beat her ass in front of the entire co-ed dorm because that was where I was when the haze lifted, and I realized I’d been pinned to the wall by my RA and two other girls from my floor while my boyfriend of four years cradled Sienna’s naked body protectively.
I remembered his lips moving as he yelled something at me, but not what he said. I remembered Sienna sobbing like she was the goddamn victim and everyone who had witnessed the fight eyeing me like I was crazy.
I didn’t, however, remember being escorted to the associate director of housing conduct’s office. I didn’t remember the conversation that ended with me being banned from campus living for violating the school’s no-nonsense policy on violence or having three days to pack my things before returning to the desolate husk that used to be my parents’ home.
It was as if my rage and sorrow had me checking in and out to protect me from the parts that hurt too much to bear.
I guess I should have been grateful that I hadn’t been expelled altogether, but I dropped all my classes anyway, so fuck your silver linings.
Sutton and Sienna could have each other.
Somehow, I knew Rowdy wouldn’t judge me or look at me differently, so I laid it all out for him, every sordid detail, and when I was done, he didn’t say a word. He just pulled me into his lap in front of the entire restaurant and kissed away my tears.
“Why was it the worst time of your life?”
I sniffled and absently traced the black and gold medusa on his expensive crew knit sweater. The top of a white button-up was peeking out the collar, making him look like the kind of guy you’d take home to meet your father. Except I never could. “Huh?”
“Before, you said you were already living your worst nightmare. Why?”
“Oh.” I kept my gaze on his chest so the depth of my pain stayed locked inside where it couldn’t destroy me. “My dad died.” A little bitterly, I added, “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”
“Dream.” I shook my head, already knowing what he wanted. “Look at me.”
“I can’t.” I sobbed before throwing my arms around his neck and hiding my face there. “I miss him so much.”
I could feel Rowdy’s steady pulse thrumming against my lips. It magically soothed the agony clawing its way out of my chest. My dad was dead, but Rowdy was still here. His arms were around me, keeping me safe. His hands rubbed my back so deeply that my eyes fluttered in pleasure. God, he smelled good. Dad had smelled good too.
“Fuck, I know, I know, but I need you to look at me,” he pleaded gently. “Can you do that?” I nodded, but I still didn’t lift my head. I stayed put where I knew I was safe from the world. “Come on, baby. Let me see those pretty brown eyes.”
Reluctantly, I lifted my head to meet his gaze. He cradled my face with his hands and used his thumbs to brush away my tears. “I’d miss you,” he told me. “And if you left, I’d follow you. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than on your bumper, Dream.”
“What if I died?” I threw out jokingly to lighten the heavy mood.
Rowdy didn’t crack a smile as he held my gaze. “Even then.”
I sucked in a shocked breath as the fragmented pieces that used to be my heart feebly rumbled as if stirring—wanting to piece themselves back together. “Okay.”
His strong hand continued to rub my back while the other held my hip. “How did he die?”
“Sickle cell. Dad had been sick for a long time before he died.” I debated how much I should confess before adding, “He and my mom were both carriers.” I waited for the implication to click into the place like it had the rare times I told anyone about it. I waited, but Rowdy seemed to take it all in stride. “It’s okay if you want to ask me,” I whispered when he reminded silent.