Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 147021 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 735(@200wpm)___ 588(@250wpm)___ 490(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147021 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 735(@200wpm)___ 588(@250wpm)___ 490(@300wpm)
She sets her wineglass on the table and runs her hands over her thighs as her eyes lift. “I’m sorry for the way things happened, Hollis. So sorry. I wish I’d handled it better.”
I’m about to tell her it’s fine, but then what the hell was the purpose of coming here? “I thought we were on the same page,” I say instead. “I thought we wanted the same things.” We’d talked about marriage and settling down. More than once.
Her fingers drift over her lips. “Everything was happening so fast. The Way We Weren’t was taking off, and you’d just been traded. I didn’t think I could handle that kind of distance, especially with you wanting so much secrecy around our relationship.”
“I just wanted some privacy,” I counter. “I didn’t want us under a microscope all the time.” I’d been positive we could handle the distance. Sure, it would’ve been hectic with our careers, but I’d been so fucking in love. So ready to love her for the rest of my life. And she’d ripped my heart out. At least I hadn’t actually proposed. But she’d learned my plan after the fact.
She rubs her bare ring finger. “I know that now. I was so young then. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish I’d done things differently.”
“But you didn’t.” She interpreted my lack of interest in being media fodder as being unsupportive and ended us.
She moves closer and takes my hand. “I know I hurt you, Hollis, and I can’t take it back. But it’s the biggest regret of my life. I should have realized you were trying to protect our relationship by keeping it out of the media spotlight. I was scared of all that distance and what it would mean for us. I know one conversation won’t fix things, but I’m here for a few more months. Maybe we could spend some time getting to know each other again.”
It would be the right thing to do—date someone closer to my age. But the idea of having a relationship with the world watching, again… I still don’t want my life any more available for public consumption than it is. And the idea of putting my heart back on the line, especially with someone who’s already shredded it once, seems like a stupid thing to do. But beyond any of that, I don’t want the woman sitting in front of me.
Not to mention what it would do to Aurora. My being here feels like a huge betrayal to a woman who isn’t even mine. I’d never be able to fix what I’ve broken if I went down this path with Scarlet again. And judging by the weight in my stomach, it’s not something I could live with.
I lick my lips, my mouth dry and my chest tight. “We’re very different people now, Scarlet. What you did to me, how you left things—you’re right, one conversation won’t fix that. And I don’t know if spending more time with you will either. You’re fresh out of a relationship—”
“Things weren’t good there for a while,” she interjects. “I was supposed to wait until we started filming here, but it just… We weren’t working.”
“You were still together for two years, according to the tabloids anyway, which is how long we were together. I wasn’t over the end of us after three months.” I push to a stand. “I appreciate the opportunity to talk, and I’m grateful for your honesty, but I don’t know if this is what I need.” But I do know. Unfortunately, the person I want, I can’t ever have.
CHAPTER 14
HAMMER
“How do I look? Should I change? I don’t know about this shirt.”
Aurora
What do you think of this shirt? I have a coffee date with a guy from uni.
I snap a selfie and send it to my mom. She’s back in the land of internet and sent me some photos of the mountains. They’re supposed to bring serenity whenever I look at them. She’s right though, they do calm me.
“If you were attending a church gathering with seniors, that shirt would be fantastic. I suggest a V-neck and the bra you usually wear to the club for this date,” Rix says.
“I agree,” Hemi adds as my phone buzzes.
Mom
I love this color on you, but I feel like you’re not comfortable in it. If you don’t feel your best, you should put on something else that helps your energy.
PS. He better treat you right or I’ll tell your dad to give him his scary face.
PPS. Send me his star sign if you think he’s worthy!
Aurora
Thanks, mom! Fingers crossed it goes well!
“I’ve never seen your club bra, but in a little more than a year, I’ll have one of my own,” Tally announces.
“I’ve also never seen the club bra, but I trust Rix’s shirt recommendation for highlighting the assets.” Dred is always up for the Watering Hole and hanging at our places, but the club is not usually her scene.