Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 147021 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 735(@200wpm)___ 588(@250wpm)___ 490(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147021 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 735(@200wpm)___ 588(@250wpm)___ 490(@300wpm)
She shrugs. “Your life is already public enough, and I’ve wanted to respect your privacy. But I’m also aware the media coverage and reality don’t always match.”
That’s a yes disguised as nonchalance. Keeping this part of me closed off from Aurora won’t help us understand each other. “You’re right, they don’t.” I lace our fingers, needing the connection.
She squeezes my hand, and both our knees bounce. I don’t want this to be the thing to derail us, but leaving her in what-if limbo won’t make it better.
“Before I was traded to Toronto, I’d planned to ask Scarlet to marry me. I’d even gone as far as buying the ring, but she broke things off.”
Emotions flit across Aurora’s face. Surprise hits her first, then shock, jealousy, hurt, fear, and sadness. And then finally empathy. “But why? Clearly she regrets that choice now.”
“It really came down to me wanting my private life to remain private and Scarlet wanting the opposite.” I’d been so certain we could get past it. That she would eventually see the benefit of being out of the limelight when she wasn’t filming. I didn’t understand compromise, or how to listen to what she really needed. It took time for me to see how I contributed to the downfall of the relationship.
Aurora’s hand tightens around mine. “Did she know you were planning to propose?”
I shake my head. “Not until later. But she didn’t want the same things I did. So when I moved to Toronto, she gave a statement saying we’d broken up because of the distance. She wished me well, and that was that.” It had been gutting to see how easily she dismissed a two-year relationship.
“But really, she broke your heart,” Aurora says softly.
“She did.”
“And now she regrets her decision.” I can’t read Aurora’s tone or her expression.
“I can’t pretend to know how she feels, or if she sees us as a missed opportunity she wants to revisit only because we’re in the same city for a few months.”
She releases my hand and slides her fingers between her thighs, as though she’s trying not to fidget. “Are you over her?”
“Yes. But the way she handled things hurt. A lot.” So much that I’ve avoided talking about it for the past seven years. And the only people who know what happened are my family, and now Aurora. Even Roman only has the barest of details. “It’s framed how I’ve dealt with relationships, and I realize I haven’t put my heart on the line in a long time.” For fear of having it crushed. I almost proposed to the wrong person. It isn’t a mistake I’ll make again.
“Whatever feelings I had for her, they’re in the past,” I add. “I saw her only because I needed closure.” And maybe I hadn’t seen it at the time, but talking to Scarlet made me realize how invested I am in the woman sitting in front of me. “I want this with you, Aurora.” I can see a future unfolding with her. And it’s terrifying, in part because she’s so young. But I don’t want to make the same mistake twice by hiding her from the world. I can make these compromises with her. It won’t ever take her autonomy. It will be equal decision making, even if it’s hard to walk the lines Aurora wants me to walk.
“I want this with you, too.” There’s relief in her soft smile.
The things Zara said make so much sense. She’s right. I have life experience Aurora doesn’t, and I need to be careful to use it wisely and move us forward.
“Maybe I could feel Roman out before the gala, get a sense of where he is.” It gets harder every day to lie and keep her a secret—and then it would be easy to remove myself from the auction. Telling him would be something real. Something tangible to assure me she won’t change her mind about me yet.
“Before the gala?” Her voice is laced with panic.
What if she’s not ready for this the way I want her to be? What if she’s on the fence about us and forcing her to make a choice now moves us in the wrong direction? I stroke her cheek. “What are you most afraid of, Princess?”
“The ripple effect for him, and the team, and me, and you, and—” Her bottom lip trembles, and she exhales a steadying breath. “Maybe it should be me instead. I can say something to him. Not tell him, but just…see?”
“I don’t want to push you into this.” But, God, I want her. I’ve never wanted anything so much. Her discomfort is a sharp bite, a warning to be careful with her.
“I know.”
I pull her into my arms, and she comes willingly. I don’t know what the answer is anymore. I don’t want to keep hiding this, but I don’t want to cause her more hurt, either. And I hate making her cry. But more than that, I don’t want to move too quickly and end this before we’ve had a chance to begin. I couldn’t give Scarlet what she needed; I don’t want to repeat history with Aurora.