Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 124494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 622(@200wpm)___ 498(@250wpm)___ 415(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 622(@200wpm)___ 498(@250wpm)___ 415(@300wpm)
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? I’ve been put on leave, and I got married, to one of the players no less, and not once have you suggested coming to see me, or even formally meeting Roman. I’m parenting my sisters, my life is in upheaval, and you’re calling me while you’re writing an email, or a report, or who the fuck knows what. Like a phone call to your daughter is something to tick off on a list.”
“Lexi, it isn’t—”
“It’s not what, Dad? It’s not true either? Tell me there isn’t a paper list sitting beside you with my name and phone call at the bottom of it.”
He sighs.
“God, it sucks that I’m right.” Here I am getting upset with Roman for overdoing it in the taking-care-of-me department, and now I’m upset with my dad for never making me a priority. I’m a hot mess of conflicting emotions. But it all makes sense. It’s rooted in my fear of losing my independence, my desire to have a partner who sees me as their equal, who I would give it all up for, because Roman would do the same for me. I want the kind of love that’s worth fighting for. I want to be worth fighting for. And with Roman, I am.
“I’m not a good father,” Dad says.
“That’s—”
“Let me finish. I know I haven’t done a great job being your dad, Lexi. And I know your relationship with your mom was strained because of me. I tried to give you space because I didn’t want to come between you. Or that’s what I rationalized. But it doesn’t excuse my lack of presence in your life. And I’m sorry for that. Emotionally, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to give you what you need, what you deserve. And you deserve a dad who can drop everything and be there for you. But if I did come to see you, all I’d be doing is setting us both up for disappointment. I’m good at being a lawyer. I’m good at solving legal problems that involve logic. But I’m not good at emotional support. And I’m so sorry for that.”
“I’m sorry, too.” It’s not what I want to hear, but at least it’s the truth and not lip service.
“I wish I was better at being a parent. I know it’s a shortcoming.”
“I love you anyway, Dad.” And I do, even though sometimes it hurts.
“I love you, too, honey. More than I’m capable of expressing most of the time. I’ll come for a visit. Maybe I can time it so I can be there for your first game back with the team. If you want me there?”
The girl in me who forever wants her dad’s approval rejoices. The rest of me realizes I should probably make a therapist appointment so I can find a healthy way to deal with these feelings. “That would be good.”
“And I can get to know your husband a little better.”
“We’d like that.” The tears start to well, so I clear my throat. “I should check on Callie. Make sure she’s doing okay.”
“Okay. We’ll talk soon.”
“Sounds good.”
I end the call and look at the ceiling, willing the tears to stay put. But they fall anyway. I open my bedroom door as Roman steps out of Callie’s room. He’s changed into a plain white shirt and plaid pajama pants. He puts his finger to his lips and slips back into my bedroom.
He takes one look at my face and gathers me in his arms. “You okay?”
“Nope. But I will be.” I loop my arms around his neck.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not right now.”
“What can I do?” He strokes my cheek. “Tell me what you need.”
“Just you.”
CHAPTER 42
ROMAN
Ihold the door open for the guys as they file into my penthouse.
“This one says Callie’s bedroom,” Flip’s voice comes from behind a large cardboard box.
“Second door on the right,” Peggy replies. “It’s a pink room. You can’t miss it.” She was the one who suggested it for Callie.
Tristan and Nate are on his heels. “We’re heading there, too.”
Hollis and Ash are next. “We have stuff for Lexi’s office.”
“Those can go in my office.”
“Got it.” They keep moving.
“I’ll show Dallas where Fee’s room is.” Peggy motions for him to follow her.
I put the door stopper down and check on Lexi in the kitchen. “How’s it going?”
“I can’t believe how much stuff we have.” Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail, flyaways sticking to her temples. She props her fists on her hips, surveying the stack on the floor. “I don’t know why I bothered to pack any of this. You already have a stocked kitchen, and your stuff is way nicer than mine.”
A week or so after the wedding, once Callie had recovered, we broached the subject of the move with the girls. As predicted, Callie was all for it, and Fee was less excited. We brought them to my place for dinner the next night so they could see the house and the spare rooms. Peggy is thrilled that Callie fell in love with the princess pink space that was once hers. Fee grudgingly admitted she liked the room we suggested could be hers.