Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102719 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102719 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
I pretend not to see them. Tom nearly topples Lu as he leaps on board Dolly at the same time Lu is stepping onto the deck. I offer her my hand just in time. She grabs onto it. A shockwave of awareness bolts through my skin from the place where her palm meets mine.
“Jesus, Tom! I’m really sorry about him.”
“He’s fine.” She drops my hand as she steps beneath the awning that partially covers the deck. Then she puts her hand on the small of her back, wincing when she twists to the side. She sore from standing in the kitchen?
“You still cookin’, then?”
“Not as often as I’d like to, but yeah.”
“Glad to hear it.”
Lu tilts her head, clearly annoyed. “Seriously, Riley, drop the act already, would you?”
“Act?”
“Stop pretending like you’re the good guy when we both know you’re a scumbag.”
Her words hollow out my chest. I set down the plate on the table. Lu follows me and puts down the tickets beside the plate. I pick them back up and deftly slide them into my pocket, making a mental note to return them to the cart when we’re done here.
Strands of Lu’s hair catch in the breeze as she crosses her arms over her chest and shoots daggers at me with her eyes. Tom tries to jump onto the bench at the table so he can eat the food. I grab his collar and guide him back onto the floor.
Then I rest my back against the table. Guarding it from Tom, sure. But I also curl my hands around the table’s edge so I don’t reach for Lu. “Maybe I had to be the bad guy.”
“What does that mean, you ‘had to be the bad guy’? No one was putting a gun to your head, telling you to cheat on me.” She uncrosses her arms and jams a finger into my chest. “That, you did all by yourself.”
My body thrums. I tighten my grip on the table.
She’s too damn close.
She’s not close enough.
“I didn’t cheat.”
Lu blinks, eyes going wide as she lets out a low chuckle. “Sure you didn’t.”
“I mean that, Lu. I was never unfaithful to you. I’m not that kind of man.”
“Then why’d you tell me you were?”
The space between us is alive. Tension. Pain. Desire.
Rain patters on the awning overhead. Lands softly on the deck by our feet.
“I knew it’d make you hate me.”
Her eyes are blazing now. “Mission accomplished.”
“I knew our relationship wasn’t going to work out, so saying I cheated was the only thing my dumbass eighteen-year-old self could think of that would really break us up. You and me—we came from different worlds, Lu. It was never going to work. I was ready to drop everything for you, and I know you felt the same. I loved you, Lu. More than I ever thought possible.”
I watch her throat work as she swallows, taking a beat to absorb what I’m telling her. The rain gets louder.
So does the sound of my pulse in my ears.
“That kinda love at that age, it’s dangerous,” I continue. “I didn’t want you dropping out of school or blowin’ up your relationship with your family to be with me.”
She blinks, eyes going wide. “If that’s true—and I’m not saying it is—then what you did wasn’t fair. You made a huge, life-changing decision without involving me.”
“’Course it’s not fair. But it felt like the right thing to do at the time.”
Lu blinks again, shaking her head. “Destroying the person you supposedly loved more than anything in the world was the right thing to do?”
“I was young and stupid. I was just trying to protect you, Lu.”
“It’s fucking Louise!” she shouts, throwing up her hands. “God, Riley. Just…Jesus.”
“You still don’t believe me.”
She stares at me, eyes wider and more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen them. She steps forward so she’s in my face again, same as she was that night in my office. “I have absolutely no reason to, no.”
“Give me a chance.”
“Give me a break.”
My heart goes wild. I step forward so I’m in her face now, our noses inches apart. The rain is loud and so is my voice. “That’s what I’m trying to do! I’m trying to fix all the shit I messed up so badly. And I messed up bad, Lu. I know I have a lot to atone for. So gimme a fuckin’ chance to explain.”
Tom cowers beneath the table. Lu scoffs. “If you think I’d ever forgive you—”
“Trust me, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.”
She’s shaking her head again. “What you’re saying is bullshit. Our relationship could’ve worked. We were more alike than different—"
“You really think your granddaddy wouldn’t’ve killed me if he found out I had my hands all over you? And my mom, you know she needed that job. At least until I could get on my feet. Make my way in the world. And I had no idea how long that’d take. I didn’t want to string you along. Have you missing out on opportunities because of me.”