Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 450(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 450(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
“But …” Mom eggs him on as if they’ve carefully scripted this.
“But,” Dad continues, “we knew if the day ever came that a man had the courtesy to ask for your hand in marriage, he would be the one just for having that good sense of kindness and respect.”
My jaw hangs open, my eyes unblinking while stuttered thoughts struggle to line up into coherent sentences. “Y-you didn’t even act surprised? I told Mom I had met someone special, but I didn’t say more.”
Mom hides her knowing grin behind her glass of red wine. “I knew because it’s been forever since you’ve thought of a man in your life as ‘special.’ And I’m your mother. I could tell just from the tone of your voice. So I told your dad last week that you were coming home to introduce us to your future husband.”
The room falls silent, all eyes on me. This makes no sense. My mother is a lot of things, but she’s not one to read my tone on a phone call.
“Or …” Koen angles his body toward me, and my mom squeezes my dad’s arm, tears in her eyes. “I might have stolen your parents’ number from your phone. I might have already had a long talk with both of them.” He pulls a ring out of his pocket. “I might already have their blessing. Might you be interested in being my wife, Scottie Ann Rucker, the love of my life?”
Sneak-y Pete.
I shake my head. He knows the answer.
“Is that a no?” Koen feigns shock.
“I need to think about it.”
Through the corner of my eye, my parents’ faces are crestfallen.
Good. They can wallow in their deceitfulness for a few seconds.
“I’m done thinking. I’ll marry you.” I press my hands to Koen’s cheeks and kiss him.
My mom claps her hands like a circus monkey.
“Sure you don’t want to change your mind, Koen?” Dad asks. “If she’s yanking your chain like that now, just imagine what you’re in for twenty years down the road.”
Koen slips the ring on my finger and grins at me. “I think I’m in for a pretty great life.”
After a celebratory dinner at a nice restaurant, my parents head to bed, and Koen follows me to my bedroom, stopping at the door with his bag in one hand and his other hand scratching his head. “Which bedroom is mine?”
I toss my bag onto the floor and turn toward him. “Are you serious?”
“No premarital sex.”
“What makes you think I’d have sex with you in my parents’ house? Are you incapable of sleeping next to me instead of inside me?”
Koen steps into the bedroom and drops his bag next to mine. “My dick is like my other dog, well-trained. It is you who can’t be trusted.”
I roll my eyes before checking my phone.
“Call him,” Koen says, closing the bedroom door.
“Who?”
“Price. Who else?” He hooks my waist and sits on the edge of the bed with me on his lap.
“I’m just … checking my email.”
“If you don’t call him soon, he won’t be at the store, which means you won’t be able to reach him until tomorrow.”
“Why do I need to call him?”
“Because he’s watching my dog, and we need to know if he’s taking good care of my Scrotum.”
I grin, resting the side of my head against his. Koen knows I’m concerned, but he knows I’m afraid to show my concern. And he’s giving me an out.
God, I love this man.
“You’re right. We can’t let anything happen to your Scrotum.”
“We really should start thinking of him as our Scrotum. Don’t you think?”
Turning my head a fraction, I kiss his cheek. “I thought you’d never ask.”
I call the store and put it on speaker.
“Drummond’s General Store. Price speaking.”
“Hi,” I say in a fake voice. “I was wondering if you have anything for bad gas during sex?”
Koen snorts.
“As a matter of fact, I do. But the store is closed until tomorrow. However, if you have cayenne pepper and vapor rub at home, you can mix equal parts and rub it on your anus in a counterclockwise motion, and that should take care of it.”
Koen presses his fist to his mouth and shakes with silent laughter.
“I’m worried about you,” I say in my normal voice.
Price chuckles. “Me? I’m worried about you having gas during sex. Or are you calling for Koen?”
“Fuck you,” Koen says.
“Oh, hey, buddy! How’s your first time in Philly going?”
“My parents love him,” I say, pinching Koen’s cheek.
“I’m not surprised. He’s spirited. And fiery. You know … because he’s a welder. Did you guys catch that pun?”
“Hilarious,” Koen says.
“Did Scrot do okay at the store with you?” I ask.
“Other than the display of chocolate he ate, yes, he did just fine.”
“I’m already regretting checking in on you, but Koen’s been missing his BFF and copilot, so I said we could call before you left for home.”