I Could Never Read Online Penelope Ward

Categories Genre: Angst, Contemporary, Forbidden Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
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She arched a brow. “You mean because of Brad?”

Running my finger along the side of my cup, I shrugged. “I’ll never not feel guilty about it. The guilt wasn’t enough to stop me, though—clearly.”

Christina reached for a cookie. “What if Brad orchestrated the whole thing?” She took a bite. “You ever think of that?”

I squinted. “What do you mean? Like, from up above?”

“Yeah.” She spoke with her mouth full. “How do you know he didn’t have something to do with you and Josh getting together? Anything is possible.”

“Why wouldn’t Brad have sent me anyone in the world besides his best friend?”

“Because maybe he knew no one else could understand what you went through like Josh could. I don’t know.” She took another bite. “You can’t rule it out.”

“Or, he could be rolling in his grave that I had unprotected sex multiple times with his best friend. My money is on that scenario.”

“Speaking of which…” She took a sip. “I never asked you about the sex. You’ve been very aloof about it. But I’m sure it was amazing.”

I blushed. “It was.”

“Like I’ve said before, one look at that guy, and you just know he knows how to fuck.” Christina paused, then grinned. “Okay, I can tell you don’t want to give me details.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” My cheeks burned.

I also stopped short of admitting that I’d thought of little else besides Josh since getting back here. Or that I’d nearly texted him to say I missed him upwards of a hundred times.

“Well, you can’t sit around and wait until next Christmas to get laid. You’re going to try to move on now that you’re back, right? Put yourself out there?”

The thought of that made my stomach churn. “I have no choice.”

“You seem like you could use a little help.”

I reached for a cookie and bit into it. “I might.”

***

Christina took the whole “helping” thing a bit too seriously.

On Friday night the following week, I went to a party she’d invited me to—something for a client of hers down in Newport Beach. It took me two hours to get there in traffic. I was exhausted after a long day, but I couldn’t continue to just hang out in my apartment alone most nights.

When I got into the country club, it became pretty apparent that this was more than just a party. Christina introduced me to a guy she’d apparently been on a date with already and—surprise—he had a friend who’d just happened to come with him to the event.

This was a setup. She’d said she was going to help me get back out there, and apparently, she’d meant it.

Todd Marino was a charming and charismatic realtor in Orange County. Although he was a bit older than I typically dated—probably in his late thirties—he was tall, handsome, and smelled great. He seemed very interested in hearing about my career as a makeup artist and the charity work I’d soon be starting again for a local homeless shelter, giving free makeovers to women looking to rejoin the workforce.

Todd was attentive, good-looking, successful—all the things you could want, right? But alas, I wasn’t feeling it. And having to be “on” for minutes on end was exhausting. It made me realize I wasn’t ready to date anyone yet.

When Christina and I escaped to the bathroom, she gave me the third degree.

She ran her hand through her long, black, curly hair as she looked in the mirror. “So…what do you think of him?”

“First of all, you didn’t tell me anything about tonight being a double date.”

“Would you have come if I had?”

“Probably not.”

“There you go.” She laughed.

“He’s a great guy. I just don’t feel ready to give him the attention he deserves.”

“Translation: I still haven’t gotten over Josh.”

Not even trying to deny it, I held my hands up. “What do you want me to do? I can’t help how I feel…”

She blotted her lips and turned to me. “Pining for a guy who’s made it clear that you and he don’t have a future together because he feels too damn guilty to do anything more than fuck you is not a good use of your time, Carly.”

Her words were harsh. They literally hurt my chest.

“I’m aware of that.” I swallowed. “But you do know that feelings aren’t always based on logic.”

She sighed and shook her head. “Alright…I’m sorry. It’s a little too soon for tough love. I’m gonna head back out there. How about I tell the guys you’re not feeling great and needed to head home?”

“You’re gonna make fun of me for days if I do that.”

“Aside from my ball busting, what do you want to do right now?”

“I’d like to leave.”

“Okay, girl. Then go. I got you.”

“Thank you,” I said, feeling immense relief.

I hugged her before exiting the bathroom and slipping out a side door.

But I didn’t end up going straight home after all. Instead, I took a long walk down a nearby pier. As the sun set, there were so many happy people wandering about, readying to enjoy a Friday night on their party boats.


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