Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 78142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“That sounds like a good thing.”
“Yeah, it is. I wasn’t even going to do it, and it seemed like she was just as glad, but then she kind of asked me to. Said I could stay with her.”
“That’s great.”
“Is it though?” I scratch the side of my face. “I can’t pay her. Not till the band gets moving again.”
“Right. I get it.”
“I don’t have any talent to do anything other than drumming, so I want to get some private students, but I don’t even know how to do that.”
“There are websites you can hang out a shingle on,” Tim says.
“I know, but still, that’ll take time. I don’t really have time.” I absentmindedly scoot the leftover crumbs on my plate around with my fork. “I think I should maybe just get a job.”
“You could do that, but you’ll have to quit as soon as your band gets back together.”
“Yeah. I know. If I were home on the western slope, I could do odd jobs. That’s pretty much how I made a living—well, that and the dispensary—and I had the flexibility to play with the band as well.”
“You could do odd jobs here.”
“How? Again, I’d have to go on some website and advertise my services. Back home, everybody knew me and always knew to call me when they needed something done.”
“Dragon, what’s this really about?” Tim says, his tone a bit pissy.
I breathe in a deep breath and decide to admit something that I’ve barely admitted to myself. “This woman I’m staying with. Diana Steel. I find myself… I’m attracted to her. I mean, really attracted to her. In a way that I’m not sure I’ve ever been attracted to anyone. I’ve never even had a real relationship. Always figured I was too fucked up for that.”
“Finding a woman attractive doesn’t have to be a bad thing, Dragon.”
I sigh. “She’s way out of my league. She’s gorgeous and rich and smart and amazing. And I’m just…”
“You’re a good man, Dragon. You know that. Your past doesn’t have to rule your life. You’ve done a good job with that so far.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah… When I was allowed to have a beer or a toke every now and then.”
“You’re an enigma for sure,” Tim says. “Most addicts can’t control themselves the way you did. But I honestly think that if you had gone stone-cold sober, cold turkey, the first time, you probably wouldn’t have had that relapse in London.”
I nod, knowing Tim can’t see me. We’ve had this discussion before. I don’t know that I agree with him, but he’s the expert.
“I shouldn’t have gone to the party,” I say.
“Why do you say that?”
I frown. “I’m clearly not ready to be around drugs.”
“You made it to the rehearsal dinner and wedding.”
“I did, but that was just alcohol. It’s easier to decline alcohol. Drugs are another story. Something about being high… It just takes all the shit in the world away.”
“But it doesn’t,” he says.
“Yeah, I know. It’s temporary.”
“Tell me more about the woman you’re living with. About these feelings you’re having.”
“Feelings?” I scoff into the phone. “They’re not feelings, Tim. I’m attracted to her. I get a hard-on when she’s around. If you saw her, you would too.”
Tim chuckles. “Are you forgetting that I’m gay?”
“No. I’m saying she’s that goddamned beautiful.”
He pauses a moment. “You sure it’s just attraction? That there are no feelings involved?”
“Of course I’m sure,” I huff. “I hardly know the woman.”
“You must know her well enough to feel comfortable living in her home.”
“It’s either that or be homeless.”
“Except that’s not true, Dragon. There are other options. You and I both know that.”
Tim’s usually right.
“Yeah…” I take a sip of my water before I continue. “I’m sorry to bother you. This isn’t really something I need your input on. I mean, I thought it was, but…”
“Dragon, you’re not one to misuse your privilege of having my private phone. So the fact that you called me is something in itself. There is something bothering you. And it has something to do with your new roommate because she is the new factor in this equation.”
“I’m attracted to a woman. Big deal, right?”
“You want to try for a relationship with this woman?” Tim asks.
“God, no. She’d never have me.”
“What makes you think that?”
“If you could see her, you’d know.”
“You’re an attractive man, Dragon. Hell, you’ll probably be a bona fide rock star soon.”
“If they let me back in the band.”
“They’ve already let you back in the band,” he reminds me.
He doesn’t need to remind me. I know that. And I’m eternally grateful for it. Apparently, the substitute drummer they hired made it clear he’d be happy to take my place in the band. Jesse and the others said hell no.
“I don’t know what it is,” I say. “Maybe I just have more demons to slay.”