 by Lindsey Hart.jpg)
Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 77793 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77793 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Love is not a word in our dictionary… until one by one my brothers all get hitched.
If people think I’m going to be next, they got another think coming!
I might have jinxed myself though.
Not might.
I really did… otherwise why would the little vixen standing on my doorstep waving a marriage certificate in my face say we were married.
True, I have no recollections of that night in Vegas.
But was I so drunk that I committed the worst sin in my books… Marriage.
And it doesn’t help that everyone in the family including my crazy matchmaking granny, heard her say she is my wife.
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
CHAPTER 1
Orion
I should have known that the day was going to be farged right from the start. Like the epic bad type of farged, not the tickle me pink kind of farged.
Granny burned the bacon. Granny. She burned the succulent, salty goodness that is life. All while humming to herself. And singing. And dancing. She was spacing out. Yeah, her head wasn’t in the breakfast game, and in our family, it’s a major sacrilege to waste bacon. It’s how we all wound up sitting in the living room with varying degrees of worried expressions, and by all, I do mean all of us.
My brother, Ransom, and his charming fiancée, Ayana, are getting married in two days. Yes. Married. They might not be the first since my brother, Alden, and his lady, Azalea, randomly, in the spur of the moment, and impulsively decided to get married last year as well. I guess I should say they chose to get married again because they already had a house wedding right after they met, basically just to make things official and legal, and the marriage wasn’t supposed to last, but when they decided to stay together, they never got a real wedding to celebrate their choice and their love, so alas… We celebrated his stag in Vegas even though we’d all basically just flown to Switzerland. Granny, being Granny, made instant overnight plans to come back, and that’s how things got out of control, but you know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
The burned bacon and the starry look in Granny’s eyes—she never gets starry looks because those are for space, not for a badass like Granny—as she sits in an armchair at the head of the living room, presiding over this family, which has almost doubled in size over the past three years because all my brothers did crazy things like fall in love, and Ransom and Ayana even had a daughter, tells me there’s about to be some kind of trouble.
There are three couches in the room and that armchair. Granny always has to have an armchair. Ransom is sitting with Ayana, and he grabs the free hand she’s not using to balance their daughter, Maya, on her knee. “I can’t get bad news before our wedding,” he says plaintively, almost begging. “It will ruin the wedding forever. I mean, bad news is bad at any time, but it’s especially bad— never mind. I sound like a prick over here. I’ll just stop.”
“A prick who has a real job, a real family, a real life, and no cover,” Lennox, the brother who likes to make funny and not-so-funny jokes, mutters. His lady, Cass, elbows him in the ribs.
“Stop that. We all made our choices,” Alden protests. “Just because some of us chose to leave the family and the life doesn’t mean we’re not with you in spirit.”
“What kind of spirit?” Lennox goes on because he never knows when to quit. “Like a spirit animal?”
“Is your spirit animal the unicorn? Whenever we see one, should we think of you?” My biological twin brother, Atlas, ribs my brothers unmercifully. His lady, Victoria, rolls her eyes at him.
“Everyone knows their spirit animal is a dolphin. I mean, just look at them. Intelligent. Kind, warm—”
“A little bit rubbery with an odd feeling,” Lennox coaches.
“We should take a quiz,” Azalea says, speaking up from beside Alden. I think there are lots of spirit animal quizzes out there. That would settle it.”
“I think more of a narwhale because that’s real,” Lennox goes on like he didn’t even hear her.
Alden stands up like he’s going to take over this family meeting and get everyone back on track, but after doing a quick sweep of the room with his eyes, he sits back down and shakes his head. Yeah, he’s used to the silence of the woods where he and Azalea live, not the boisterous and often ridiculous banter of a family of thirteen.
Yes, I’m the odd man out—the only brother who hasn’t given in and bit the bullet and surrendered to mushy, icky, gooey love. And I plan on remaining that way for a good long while. I am perfectly happy with my singleness. The fact that I have a bit of a hole in my chest that I haven’t addressed even though it acts up like a twinging nerve every single time I see my brothers happy? I’m not going to think about that. It’s nice to be here together again, all of us under one roof, healthy and happy. I get to see Atlas and Lennox happy every single day because we live together most of the time, but not with everyone together like this.
It’s a good thing. Really.
And my empty bed problem? The one I crawl into, alone, at the end of each day—okay, I was going to say night, but we keep odd hours, so it’s often afternoon or morning too. Well, it could be easily solved by, um…well, finding someone who would like to share that spot with me for a few hours. Except I haven’t done that either—the whole casual, mutual fulfilling of needs thing—in…well, I guess it’s been a year and a half.