Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 97071 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97071 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
“Of that, I have no doubt.” She taps her fingers on her knee. “What I’m trying to say is that I realize I may share part of the responsibility for us coming to this place and getting into this situation. As such, I’m offering to escort you home. After I retrieve my family heirlooms.”
Shock steals my words for several long moments. She hasn’t tried to murder me lately, but a removal of active animosity is not quite the same thing as forgiveness. Neither is this, technically. Still, it’s more than I could have dreamed of being offered. “You’re serious.”
“I see how you light up around him, Evelyn. You might think it’s love, but what happens when the lust wears off? You’ll realize that you’re stuck in a life you never wanted. You like to party, steal things, and embrace every moment of life to its fullest. If you stay here and take part in some revolution, you’re likely to end up dead.” She stares at her fingers. “It … upsets me … to think you might die for a cause that’s not yours.”
Maybe it should hurt that she wasn’t willing to give even the slightest indication of caring until I was well beyond her reach. There was a moment in the past when I could’ve given my heart to this vampire. I don’t know if it would’ve worked out, but it doesn’t matter anymore. That moment is gone. I still care about her, but it will never be what I feel for Bowen.
Still, the fact that she’s offering this option at all warms my chest. I bump my shoulder against hers. “I care about you, too, you know. But what I feel for Bowen is entirely different. It’s more than just caring, and certainly more than just lust. I love him.”
She sighs. “I thought you might say that.”
“You’re right that I’ve never had a cause to fight for before now, but this one is noble. It’s one that Bunny would approve of.” It’s true, but it’s not the full truth. “But even if she wouldn’t have … it’s time I start making my own decisions. I believe in this cause. What the Cŵn Annwn are doing in Threshold is wrong, and I might not be a great warrior, but I can help right the wrongs they’ve committed. It’s dangerous, but it’s the right thing to do and I feel strongly about being part of it.”
“If you change your mind—”
“I won’t.” I make an effort to gentle my tone. “But I appreciate the offer. Really, I do.” I stand, my sore muscles groaning in protest. “I better get back to work.”
I leave Lizzie alone in the pantry, her expression unreadable. I didn’t realize I needed to have that conversation as much as she apparently did, but I feel lighter for having done it. As if I really gave us proper closure, instead of running from the discomfort of something ending. How novel.
I want to seek Bowen out, to talk to him about the new confidence settling inside me, but I make myself wait until our shift is over. Nox runs a tight ship and they don’t take kindly to someone shirking their duties—especially since we’re sailing with a much lighter crew than the Audacity really needs to perform at capacity. Nox said something about picking up more people soon, but they’ve been incredibly vague about what that means—or what happens after.
They still don’t trust us. That’s fine. We’ll earn their trust with time.
I find Bowen in our cabin, standing in the shower with his hands braced against the tile. It’s the most natural thing in the world to strip and join him in the small space. I slip between him and the wall and wrap my arms around his waist. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He kisses my temple. “I’m ashamed to say it, but being captain for so long means I’m out of shape. I thought I knew what hard work was, but this is kicking my ass.”
“Mine too.” I don’t want to let go of this moment of peace, but it’s important that I share what happened today. “Lizzie came to see me earlier.”
It’s only because I’m holding him close that I feel him tense. “Oh?”
“She offered to take me home, after she reclaims what I stole, of course.” I lean back until I can see his face. “I told her no. I hope she’s right and there is a path back to our realm; for her sake, at least. But I meant it when I said I love you, Bowen. Not just because you fuck like a god, and not just because you hold me like I’m the most priceless thing in existence. I love you for your stubbornness and your honor and your willingness to do whatever it takes to right the wrongs you have inadvertently caused. You’re stuck with me, at least for as long as you’ll have me.”