Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 98767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
“Ah, Christ.” I swallowed a groan as every inch growled to delete the remaining distance and take her. To have her speak to me was one of the greatest rewards after her self-imposed silence. To have her admit she liked kissing me? Fuck, it was more than I could bear.
“Can’t say things like that to me, Pimlico. Especially now.” Stepping away from her, I headed toward my duffel and the small side pocket where I’d packed something for emergencies. My mind was full of body parts and thrusting. Of fast, fierce fucking. Of taking what I wanted with no thought to her traumatised psyche.
The compulsion inside became stronger thanks to Pim’s admission. My lawless thoughts focused on things it shouldn’t.
The curtains were made from fabric with stripes on it. Would it be even stripes or odd if I counted them? The carpet had swirls of lighter blue in the navy. Would the ratio of light and dark be equal?
I closed my eyes, hiding away from overstimulation.
My fingers fluttered over imaginary cello chords doing their best to circumnavigate the disorder in my blood. I wanted to touch Pim. In a way, I needed to touch her to remain centred and not give in.
But it wouldn’t just be touching—it would be complete and utter domination. I would strip her, lick her, climb inside her. I would clutch and ride and hold and manipulate until she’d given me everything.
And because I was fucked up and she was tragic with her history, it would only destroy us. I refused to ruin her progress or mine.
I’m better than that.
I gritted my teeth as I unzipped the duffel pocket and pulled out a pre-rolled joint. The effects of this herbal medicine were minimal but needed. It calmed my mind, made the jagged edges of my preoccupation fade a little, and gave me some peace from needing everything now, immediately, all of it with no exceptions.
The sound of Pim’s heels whispered over the carpet as she came closer.
I turned my back on her, holding the joint while searching for a lighter in my pocket. My fingers struggled to find the fire conjuring device, digging deeper as Pim moved to stand beside me. Sad eyes landed on the weed, her face torn between asking questions and giving me space.
“Don’t ask me not to, Pim,” I grunted as I spotted a spare lighter in my bag and snatched it. “You can’t ask me to do that.”
“I can’t?”
Holding the flame to the joint, I lit it but didn’t inhale. I needed her to understand. This was for her protection as well as mine. I wouldn’t hurt her more than she already had been. I should fix her not make her worse because I couldn’t control myself.
Sweet, cloying smoke rose, stinging my eyes. I still didn’t inhale. “You can’t ask me to stop.”
She ran the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip, watching the smoke curl toward the ceiling. “Why?”
“I just told you why.”
Her eyes latched onto mine. “No, tell me a different truth, so I don’t feel as if you’re numbing yourself to be with me. Tell me, so I’m not left thinking you don’t want me after all.”
What a loaded question. An even heavier answer.
I’d already told her at dinner on the Phantom, but I had different reasons tonight.
I craved the first puff of weed, but I held it away, doing my best to be honest. After all, tonight I’d demand every shred of her honesty. She’d have nowhere to hide, no one to help her.
It would be cruel as well as pleasurable, and having such extremes meant I needed all the help I could get.
“Remember what I said to you? That first night in your bedroom at Alrik’s?”
She wrapped her arms around herself, barricading bad memories. “What did you say?”
I wasn’t surprised she didn’t remember, but it made anger bubble beneath the surface, showing how close I was to losing it. “I told you how I wanted to be the first to touch you—to make you wet by my voice alone. That I needed to be the first to lick you—to taste how you come. To watch how beautiful you are when you let go on my tongue.”
She shivered, her skin decorated in goosebumps.
“I told you I’d be the first man to bite your nipples and kiss your stomach and make you realise how much fucking power you have over a man like me.”
She looked up, her breathing quick and prey-like. “Are you going to do that tonight?”
My breathing slowed, heaving and hunting, ready to pounce even while I did my best to hold back. “Do you want me to?”
She shrugged like a child rather than a woman standing with pinpricked nipples in a sultry black dress.
I stepped toward her. My knees groaning under the weight of my self-control. “Answer the question. Just like you’ll answer all my questions tonight. Just like you’ll finally give into me and let me show you how lust should be.”