Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Except, when the handle turns, and Ellie appears in my doorway dressed in nothing but a lacy nightdress, her beautiful hair hanging in soft waves, I know that all of that self-restraint and self-control is about to be obliterated.
Because there is no way I could resist this girl, ever.
She is my kryptonite. My sweetest temptation.
I was right about there being something between her and Micky. And now there’s going to be something between us, too.
13
ELLIE
I don’t plan to find Colby awake. He’s always been such a heavy and immediate sleeper. , On movie nights, he usually only makes it ten minutes into the film before he’s off into the land of nod.
But as I open Colby’s door, the light on his nightstand is still on, and he’s lying on top of his comforter. As our eyes meet across the room, he shifts, shocked. His gaze rakes over my barely clad body, but I don’t see rejection there. I see heat and hunger. I see the moment his resistance seems to slide away like snow down the side of a mountain.
I feel the same way.
Too much time has passed. Too much longing has built up, and the fight to resist all these feelings – focusing on the bad in my stepbrothers and never the good - has gone on too long.
Micky dared me, and so I’m here.
“Ellie.” Colby’s voice is deeper than usual, with a huskiness that tickles the skin on the inside of my thighs.
I don’t say anything because I know the power of words. They can drive action, but they can also halt it. If I let him talk, I know Colby could destroy this precious moment with his seriousness and desperate need to be responsible.
The tent in his boxers tells me all that I need to know. He wants me. I’ve felt that buried need in him for so long. I’ve felt his fight to stay an appropriate distance from me, as though our parents’ marrying has made us real siblings, not just unrelated people who live under the same roof.
He’s tried his best to be a big brother, stifling me at every turn, building resentment as well as lust. But I understand him now. And I understand myself.
It’s time for me to take what I need. It’s time for Colby to face up to the fact that he wants me too.
Dornan’s words slide into my mind. These years of our lives are supposed to be about fun. They’re supposed to be about us taking risks. They are years I don’t want to waste on relationships with men who do nothing for me, experiencing sex that makes me want to write shopping lists in my head rather than cry out with ecstasy.
What we have together is too good to suppress.
And I know I’m being greedy. I know that wanting all three of my stepbrothers is fucked up. But choosing between them would be worse. Driving a wedge between them would be the most selfish thing I could do. At least this way, we’re all invested in the same secret. And at least this way, I don’t have to compartmentalize my heart.
In silence, I close the door and walk towards Colby. He shifts on the bed, pushing to sit straighter against the headboard. His fists are balled, and his shoulders are bunched tight as though he’s braced to escape, but he doesn’t move as I straddle his lap. He doesn’t push me away as I cup his stubbly cheeks with my palms.
His eyelids droop as I use my thumbs to stroke the soft skin beneath his eyes, and the breath he releases feels like he’s been holding it in for an eon. “What are you doing?” he groans, his tone tortured and gruff.
“What we should have done a long time ago,” I whisper.
I expect to lead Colby forward step by step, to chip at his resistance. But what happens is very different. In a flash, his hands grip my wrists, and before I take a breath, I’m on my back, restrained against the mattress with Colby’s huge form looming over me.
“Is this what you did to Micky last night?” he asks.
When I nod, Colby looks away, focusing on the corner of his room as his glistening chest rises and falls. His hands are tight around my wrists, and I still can’t tell if it’s because he doesn’t want me to touch him because he sees this as wrong or because it’s what he gets off on.
“You picked him first because he’s a soft touch, didn’t you? You knew he wouldn’t have the heart to say no.”
For a second, I’m stunned, and then I smile. “You want there to be a reason that I didn’t come to you first, don’t you? You’re jealous.” Colby makes a low growl in his throat, and I know I’m right. For all the walls he erects and the masks he wears, he is so easy to read. “I went to Micky first because he’s the one who went the furthest with me in the closet. It seemed easiest to take the first step with him.”