Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 75474 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75474 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
I just sent away the only woman who truly loved me for me––because I know she does. I feel it in her every word, every touch, every glance…in her every action––and I sent her away over money. Because I didn’t trust her. A woman beautiful enough to have leveraged that asset at any point with me and she never did. All she wanted was me…I need to find her and beg her to forgive me.
My mother looks confused. “Why are you smiling?”
I get up and throw my arms around her, hugging her closely. A sense of relief comes over me that I haven’t felt since Riley left. And now that I know what I have to do, there’s no time to waste.
I haven’t hugged my mother since I was fourteen, since the day I was diagnosed with leukemia, and even then it was brief and perfunctory. But today she deserves one.
“Thank you,” I tell her, and she finally relaxes in my arms, her hands coming around me to hesitantly rest on my back. “Thank you, for helping me come to my senses. For making me realize that I love that ridiculous girl and I can’t live without her. I want you to know that you’ll be the first person I call when she says yes.”
She pulls back, alarmed. “Jordan…you’re not going to marry her.”
“Have a safe flight back to DC.”
I leave her to get dressed. I have a plan to make and very little time to execute it. I just hope I’m not too late.
Riley
All the sounds and smells are the same. The beeping of lifesaving machines. The smell of ammonia with a subtle note of urine. The quiet of the ICU only interrupted by the occasional frenzy of activity when someone crashes…on the verge of dying.
They had to remove Tommy’s spleen. He has four broken ribs and a skull fracture, but it could’ve been worse.
I’ve been here in the ICU with him for two days, holding vigil. His eyes are so swollen he can barely open them, not enough to watch TV, so on the rare occasion that he wakes up I read to him.
How did we end up here?
Everything I did to save him didn’t matter. In fact it had the opposite effect––the situation went from bad to worse. It makes me think of my father, of everything he sacrificed for his job. All those fruitless days working search and rescue only to lose his life…was it worth it?
“Hey…” Tommy squeezes my hand.
He has to wear a neck brace for a few more days and his head is completely bandaged so he can’t really move it. I drag the armchair closer to the side of the bed, so that he has a direct line of sight.
“How do you feel?”
“Awesome,” he croaks. “How do I look?”
“I don’t think you should go on any Tinder dates for now.”
His mouth curves up ever so slightly. The doctor warned us that he would be in a lot of pain so they have him medicated for now.
His eyes flutter closed for a beat and when they reopen they fill with tears. Mine do too. We’ve been friends––family––for the majority of my life. I can’t abandon him, but I also can’t go down with a sinking ship.
“I’m sorry Rie. I’m sorry I never listened. I’m sorry I got you into this.”
I take the edge of the sheet on his bed and wipe the tears on his face away.
“Who did this to you?”
It’s a full two minutes before he answers, his voice barely audible.
“I didn’t pay Ivan the last two times you gave me money. I went to AC and lost it at the craps table.”
My knees shake. It’s a good thing I’m sitting down because they wouldn’t have held me up. “And the money you stole from Jordan?” I ask, trying not to hyperventilate.
When he doesn’t reply, I make an educated guess, “You lost it gambling.”
“I’m gettin’ out of here. When I get out of the hospital, I’m leaving. Starting over somewhere new.”
I understand. I know what it feels like to dream about leaving your problems behind. The thing is, you carry them with you.
“You need to stop gambling. Get in a program.”
“I know.”
He looks so beaten down, and not just physically, that I can’t bring myself to push him now. After he gets out, I’ll take him to a meeting myself if I have to.
“You think Ivan’s goons did this?”
“Doesn’t matter…I got what I deserved.”
“No, you didn’t. You don’t deserve this anymore than I deserved what Stills did to me.” It’s the first time that name was ever spoken between us. It’s long past time we did. “Do you remember?”
“Yeah…yeah I remember.”
“How did you know? How did you know to save me?”
“I was watching you ’cause I knew about your dad…that he died. I liked your dad. He was good to me. Before he got sick, he saw my dad trying to smack me around––right on the front lawn. Sunavabitch had balls. Your dad saw it and took him by the shirt and shook ’em and said ‘Stop beating on your kid, you fucking coward.’ Then he laid him out… One punch and the old man went down with a broken nose. Best day of my life.”