Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 105306 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 527(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105306 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 527(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
“Um, sure.”
He watches me all the way to the bathroom, and I glance at him one last time through the crack in the door before slamming it shut.
Me:
HELP. OMG. I thought I could do this but obviously I can’t and now he thinks I’m a weirdo.
It takes her an eternity to message me back.
Okay slow down, what is going on? Who thinks you’re a weirdo and what can’t you do?
Dallas. He showed up at my place a little while ago and I started to tell him how I feel—like, was going to dive right in, but when I opened my mouth, nothing came out, and now I’m in the bathroom straight-up panicking.
Deep breath. It’s going to be okay. He’s a decent guy, right?
Yes.
Then try not to worry—Dallas likes you, and now you just need to know if he LIKES you likes you.
What are we, five?
Well how else do you want me to put it??? Now you just wanna know if he wants to maybe marry you someday?
WINNIE that is not helping!
You wanna know if he wants to bang you and only you and go steady.
That’s a little better…
Why not just tell him THAT? Use those words—dudes understand words like bang and screw and bone.
I’d rather not make this about sex…
Oh right, you want to make this about feelers.
Yes
Well the good news is he showed up without you telling him you wanted him over, right?
Also yes.
So. Hmmm…
She has nothing to say for a solid two minutes, those three dots in the messenger app seemingly frozen on the screen, bubbling and bubbling with no message popping up.
It’s torture.
Sorry, Kyle overcooked someone’s burger and I had to take them the new one.
…
Okay so what I would say if I were in your position…
Yes, yes. Hanging on your every word…
Dallas, I thought when we agreed to hanging out for the sake of your career that I could do it without getting invested—but the truth is, that’s not what happened.
Is there more?
I’m thinking! Plus Ben just got here for his shift and he’s on my case. I swear that dude is useless.
WINNIE FOCUS. I can’t sit in the bathroom forever!!!
She doesn’t reply.
WINNIE
WINNIE
Nothing.
Shit.
She must be getting slammed at the diner.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror, giving myself a pep talk. “You can do this. Winnie is right. The worst thing that can happen is he doesn’t feel the same way.” I take a breath. “The good news is, he already considers you a friend and he didn’t ghost you after you had sex with him.”
Most guys would have—not to stereotype him, but he is an athlete, and he doesn’t want a girlfriend. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d stopped talking to me once his needs were met.
Yet here he is, showing up at my place.
That’s a good sign, yeah?
I straighten my spine. “Now get out there and tell the guy how you feel. No chickening out.”
Easy-peasy.
Except…
Except I want to barf.
thirty-four
dallas
“Your nudes are safe with me.”
– Drake Colter
Ryann has been in the bathroom an awful long time. I doubt she’s in there taking a shit, so what the hell could the holdup be?
She didn’t look well when she stood up and left the room, so maybe she’s sick.
Crap. What if she’s pregnant?
Don’t be an idiot, you only had sex a few times and you were wearing a condom.
So? Condoms aren’t foolproof.
But it didn’t break, moron.
I wipe my palms on my pants. Nervous energy has my leg bouncing up and down.
If she’s not out of that bathroom in one more minute, I’m going to—
The door opens and she steps out, hands running down the braid she now has in her hair.
I let out a relieved breath.
Okay.
Good.
She didn’t fall into the toilet.
Fall into the toilet? Now you’re being ridiculous.
Ryann wrings her hands as she walks forward to take the spot she previously occupied, facing me when she settles in, pulling a blanket onto her lap.
“Why do you look like you want to shit your pants?” I blurt out, knowing it sounds rude but unable to stop myself.
“Do I?” Her laugh sounds nervous.
“Sorry—guess I shouldn’t have said that.”
She gives her head a shake. “It’s fine.”
My eyes dart from her face to the TV, where I’ve got a tattoo competition going, a show I watch when I need something mindless that I don’t have to focus on or think about.
Ryann clears her throat. “When you got here, you said you wanted to talk?”
I toss the remote to the coffee table and prop my feet up, leaning back and putting my arm on the back of the sofa.
She fidgets, and I’m tempted to reach across the space and put my hand on hers so she’ll stop. The twitching and squirming are making me want to squirm, too. What is she doing?
“Yeah, I thought it would be a good idea to…you know, check in on you and everything. How are you holdin’ up? We haven’t talked much in the last few days.”