Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 45361 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45361 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
“I should tell you to stop complimenting me,” she says, “but I sort of like it.”
“Good, because I wouldn’t stop, anyway.”
She turns to the window, laying her forehead against the glass. “Work was fine. Busy. Graham gave me crap here and there, but nothing major.”
“One day, you’ll have your own restaurant and treat your employees with more respect.”
“How can you be sure? What if I’m as much of a douche as he is? What’s that saying? Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
“You’re a good person. You know what it is to grind at the bottom. I can’t imagine you behaving how he does.”
She doesn’t reply for a long time. I can feel her anxiety radiating from her in waves.
“You know what happened with Dad, right?”
“Bits and pieces,” I reply. “Not much, honestly. Noah rarely talks about it.”
“When I was eight or nine, Dad started getting involved in drugs and gambling. He’d stay out for hours. I vividly remember those nights, Miles, like I’m still there. Mom is sitting in the living room, staring at the wall, waiting for her husband to return, praying he hasn’t wasted all our money on drugs and cards. Then Dad found a woman who enjoyed cards and drugs as much as he did.”
She stops, her breathing ragged. She sounds like she’s close to tears. My heart crushes in my chest, a beat that commands me to fix this, but I can’t. It’s already over. She’s right. I can’t protect her from everything.
“I still remember when Mom told me what happened. A robbery gone wrong. Dad and his new girlfriend were killed trying to hold up a liquor store. Then it was years of Mom trying to move on and find happiness, all while working double shifts so we didn’t lose the house. I never thought she’d find a man. I thought her defenses were too high.”
“But now she has,” I say. “Noah, the best man there is.”
“Yeah, exactly. He’s a good person. He’s a good stepdad.”
My temples pulse. My muscles tense.
“Do you see what I’m saying?”
“If we do what we want, we’ll ruin things for your mom.”
“Just when she’s found her chance at happiness. So please, Miles, let’s try, okay? No more touching, no more kissing.”
“If I’m going to do that, I won’t be able to spend as much time with you. Just being close to you is a temptation.”
“Don’t you think I want it, too?” she says fiercely. “You should’ve seen Mom’s face. It devastated her. She hated my dad for what he did but still loved him. It still traumatized her.”
“So, if she lost somebody she didn’t hate…”
“If she lost Noah because of me, her life would be over. I’m not sure she’d ever recover.”
I swallow, focusing on the road.
“Okay, Layla.”
This is the end before we’ve even started.
CHAPTER NINE
Layla
“Wait, what?”
Tess stares at me across the café table. She was idly toying with her dyed black hair before I told her what happened between Miles and me in the kitchen.
“How long ago was this?” she asks.
I smooth my hands over my belly. Since Miles drove me home, and we decided we’d try to stay away from each other, I’ve been doing that more and more—touching my belly as though there’s a life already growing there.
“Four days,” I say.
Each second has been torture. Each moment in the house, I hear Miles’ heavy footsteps when he leaves his bedroom. I wait until he’s back in his room before I go out, sneaking around like a thief.
“We would’ve kept going if Mom and Noah hadn’t interrupted us.”
“But you’ve stopped now,” Tess says.
I nod, pushing away the note of regret inside of me.
“You don’t think you’re doing the right thing?” she asks.
“The right thing, sure, but I won’t lie, Tess. It’s been agony. We’re sneaking around each other. If I’m alone in the kitchen and he walks in, one of us leaves. We only talk when Mom and Noah are there, at mealtimes, and it’s always surface level.”
Surface level—the phrase I tossed at Miles.
“I told him I wanted it that way. Nothing deep. Nothing romantic, but it’s so hard. I keep thinking about him. Remembering the kiss. The first one, and the one four days ago.”
Tess sits back, fiddling with her black, studded bangle. “You are doing the right thing, but I hate seeing you like this. I’ve seen you with boys before.”
“I’ve never really been with anyone,” I mutter.
“No, I get that, but I mean in school. Occasionally, some guy would hit on you, and you never looked interested, not even for a second. You never looked like you cared, but now, you care a lot.”
I nod. It’s not as if I can deny it.
“I want you to be happy. I want you to experience love.”
“Love?” I try to laugh it off. “Let’s not get hasty.”
“I’m not saying you’re in love right now, but this is how it starts.”