Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 27313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 137(@200wpm)___ 109(@250wpm)___ 91(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 27313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 137(@200wpm)___ 109(@250wpm)___ 91(@300wpm)
The bartender tucks the napkin under the tip jar by the register, giving me a nod before he turns back to the customers. I push my mostly full glass away, stand, and cast a last long look around the bar. Sure enough, Savannah still isn’t here.
Agitation and frustration so high I swear my teeth are going to break from how hard I’m grinding them, I walk out of the bar and back to my empty apartment.
5
SAVANNAH
I spend the entire weekend on edge, anxiety simmering in my stomach and ruining my appetite.
On Saturday, I distract myself by looking after Polly, which really just looks like lounging in her flat watching reruns of Friends while she complains about how much she hates her ex. That was the emergency she called me with—her ex texting her after months of silence. I understood her pain and her badly hidden heartbreak.
I haven’t known her for long, but I find her flirty, fun, and a little shallow. Really, she’s just trying to cover up her sore heart by filling the space her ex left with other guys.
But another part of me, a part I try to hide from her as we eat cookie dough ice cream straight out of the tub, can’t help but resent the fact that I ran out on that man…Sean…for this.
Guilt swarms me as I think about it, and I bite into a frozen chunk of chocolate. Polly needs me, I’m her friend, and I should be happy to be here for her. Yet, as she tells me the same teary story of how she caught her ex liking another girl’s bikini photos on social media, my brain conjures up the image of the guy I dreamt of all night.
Short, dark hair just long enough to run my fingers through. Deep brown eyes dark with desire. Muscles flexing in his arms as he backs me against a wall, expensive fabric under my hands as I run my palms over his chest, the tickle of his breath in my ear as he says my name in a whisper…
No. Bad Savannah! I stab my spoon angrily into the remaining ice cream and hand Polly a tissue.
“Okay, enough crying!” she declares after a deep breath, scrubbing mascara tracks off her cheeks with the tissue. “I need to focus on something else. Ooh, like that guy from the bar. I saw him follow you through to the back.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me, leaning her shoulder against mine.
“Oh, no. That’s nothing,” I say, waving away her unspoken questions. “He was wayyy out of my league. This is about you, anyway. Let’s not talk about me and my utter lack of love life.” I finish my sentence with a giggle that she doesn’t buy.
“I’m swearing off men,” she decides, wrinkling her nose in distaste. “That means I need to live vicariously through you. That dude was hot and rich and like totally not an asshole like—nope! Not saying his name.”
I sigh, giving in. “I really liked him,” I admit, and she squeals, grabbing a half-eaten bar of chocolate from under one of the blankets. She bites into a piece and nods for me to continue. “And I mean…well, okay, we kissed—”
“Oh my god! I knew it!”
I cringe. “But that’s all! I left and didn’t even get his number and I’ll never see him again. I’m sure I was nothing more than a bit of fun to him, anyway.”
Even as I say it, I know it’s not true. Sean’s voice replays for the thousandth time in my mind when he said, “I don’t want whatever’s between us to end here.”
“Just kissed?” Polly asks, pouting. “You can’t tell me you didn’t want to jump on that guy and ride him until the sun came out.”
I gape at her unashamed talk of sex. To buy time, I snag a piece of chocolate from her hand and let it melt on my tongue. I absolutely did want that, but I want more too. I felt connected to him somehow. He was sweet and protective, kind but dominant. The perfect mix of everything I’ve ever wanted.
Everything I can’t have.
I don’t want to talk about my feelings or missed opportunities, so I stick to the facts. “Well, okay but…” I sigh, knowing she’s going to scream at what I say next. I brace myself as I admit, “I’ve never…you know…before.”
Polly’s mouth drops open, her eyebrows hitting her hairline. “Savannah Samson, you are not telling me that you’re a VIRGIN.”
I groan, trying to hide from her behind a pillow. She rips it out of my hands, shaking her head at me.
“Girl, how?”
I bite my lip, cheeks heating. “I mean, look at me, Polly. I’m a mess.”
“Exactly, look at you,” she repeats my words back to me with a heavy emphasis that means “Don’t be an idiot.”