Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 143842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 719(@200wpm)___ 575(@250wpm)___ 479(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 143842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 719(@200wpm)___ 575(@250wpm)___ 479(@300wpm)
Irritation blustered through my consciousness. What a fuckin’ prick. Dude deserved to get his ass beat. Unfortunately, there were worse deviants we were dealing with right then.
Speculation in his eyes, Ryder pressed deeper into the topic he was hinting on. “And some girl?”
I itched, not sure why I was agitated since I’d been the one to call him here, really needing to talk about that very girl, the one girl, but I wasn’t quite sure how to broach it. Not when I was so out of my element that I had no idea what the hell I was doing.
Treading thin.
Ice cracking below.
The fractures splintering out, five seconds from a collapse.
No question, the frigid waters were right there to drag me to the bottom.
I scratched at my beard, thankful for the distraction when a server stopped at our booth. I ordered a beer on tap, then turned back to Ryder who was watching me carefully.
“Something’s up with you,” he said the second she was out of earshot.
I sighed. “Think I’m in trouble.”
I could sense the flash of worry that sped through him, though he kept his voice casual and cool. “And what kind of trouble might that be?”
I gnawed at the middle of my bottom lip before I finally confessed, “The kind where I actually like that girl.”
He looked far too entertained by the news, relieved that this was the only trauma we were talking about.
If he only fuckin’ knew.
“Ah, a woman has finally gotten under your skin. Wasn’t sure I was ever going to see the day, though it was pretty damned apparent from where I was sitting on Saturday night that she had you in knots.”
I scraped a flustered hand over my face and blew out a sigh as I sank back on the booth seat. “She doesn’t have me in knots, man. She has me in fucking chains.”
Disbelief rocked through him, and his eyes the color of pitch gleamed. “That’s how it is, huh?”
“Think so.” I was reticent to admit it. The server walked by and set my beer in front of me, and I muttered a quiet, “Thank you,” as she walked away.
Ryder slinked back farther in the seat, that shock of black hair flopping to the side. “I’m not sure why you look so disturbed by it, brother. I know you’ve been chasing your next hookup ever since I can remember, but I promise you, when you find the one, you aren’t going to feel like you’re missing a thing. You never fucking get bored because each time you touch her, you only want more.”
Ryder thought I was afraid of commitment, which there was no goddamn question that I was, but it wasn’t bred of the reasons he imagined.
It wasn’t because I was scared of getting locked down, worried I’d forever be wondering if the grass was greener on the other side.
It was that I was afraid of what I was bringing to the table. The mess I’d created that would only taint and destroy.
The truth that I would never be good enough for the woman who I’d left at her house after kissing her wild on her porch. The whole time, I’d felt like I was getting a piece of myself ripped away when I forced myself to get in my truck and drive to Time River to meet up with Ryder.
Every instinct demanded that I stay by her side.
Funny thing, Hailey thought she was the one bringing the baggage while I came barreling in loaded like a fucking freight train.
I figured no one else could understand quite the way that Ryder would be able to.
I shook with the truth that I’d been keeping from him my entire life, a hypocrite who’d secreted my mistakes away, all while I’d been demanding that he keep away from my sister because I’d known he’d had himself entangled in some shady shit.
But what I’d done, I’d done for my family.
For Dakota and Kayla and our mother.
Because they were worth it.
Because I would give anything for them.
Because I’d promised.
And still, I didn’t know how to admit to him my true concerns.
“I want to be good enough for her, Ryder. Right for her and her daughter. Make their lives better rather than become a cloud that darkens their path.”
He took a sip of his whiskey, and he pointed at me from where he had his hand curled around the glittering glass. “That right there is a choice, Cody. Whether you make their lives better or worse.”
I barely nodded, even though it wasn’t quite the truth. I’d given up that power a long time ago.
I pushed out the one thing that I could give him. The first obstacle ahead of us that I wasn’t going to just hurdle, but tackle head-on.
Fucking raze it to the ground.
“Her ex is sniffing around…trying to get her back. Rich kind of prick who thinks the world owes him something and everyone should get on their knees and bow when he’s coming. He doesn’t like it that Hailey isn’t yielding.”