Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 135604 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135604 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
“Don’t,” I choked, shaking my head and blinking away tears. “Don’t stop. Please. Please just, I—I want this. Please keep going.”
“You’re crying.”
“I’m begging!” I screamed, lifting my chin and locking on to his eyes.
Ocean boy blues filled with confusion and concern stared back.
I couldn’t take it.
I tried pulling him closer with my hands on his neck and back, wailing, “I’m begging, okay? You won! This is what you wanted! You wanted me to beg and I’m begging. Please!” I dropped my head and tried leaning into him. I wept harder. “Please don’t stop. Please. Please, Jamie. Please.”
“Tori, fuck! Stop!” he growled, fighting my hold while pressing closer at the same time, but not closer like I wanted him.
His fingers on my face were gentle. Not burning and moving over my body. I wanted to hide.
“Please,” I sobbed.
My body broke. My hands went limp and I buckled, falling into him. Strong arms caught me and held me up. They wrapped around me and felt like a promise.
I nestled closer, lifting my head off his chest and burying my face in his neck. “Please. I don’t want to feel him,” I cried with tears on my lips. “I don’t want to feel him anymore, Jamie.”
“Baby, who?” he asked, cupping the back of my head and dropping his mouth beside my temple. “Who don’t you wanna feel?”
“Wes.”
His arm around my back tightened, squeezing me.
“What the fuck? He do something to you?” Jamie’s voice vibrated through his body like thunder rolling. I felt it shake my bones. “Did he?”
I closed my eyes and whimpered. “He came over. I—I thought he was you.”
“Shit,” he mumbled, sounding fury-filled and something else. Regretful maybe. I wasn’t sure.
“He wanted to come in,” I continued. “He wanted to fuck. He thought I did, too. He … he said I didn’t care he was married. That I wanted it too much. He was wanting to pick back up where we left off.” I shook my head against his jaw and wrapped my hand around Jamie’s ribs. “I would never do that. I wouldn’t.”
“Motherfucker,” he snarled from above me. “He’s dead.”
“I felt you and then I felt him, and I—”
Jamie shoved me back, lifted my chin, and stared deep into my eyes, questioning with a low, grating, scary voice, “He touch you?”
I blinked, studying his hardened face. I’d never seen Jamie look like this before. He looked like rage. He looked a little crazy.
And he looked absolutely beautiful.
“Babe,” he pressed, when I kept on studying and forgot his question.
“Mm?”
He dipped closer, punctuating each word he spoke. “Did. He. Touch. You?”
I swallowed, staring back at blue eyes burning. “Not really. Just …” I slid my hand down his side and grabbed his smooth hip. “Like this. Where you did.”
His jaw clenched. He exhaled through his nostrils, flaring them. “He do anythin’ else?” he asked, staying close and keeping his fingers on my face.
“Just said those things,” I replied, my bottom lip trembling and my eyes filling up fast. “Those awful things that are not true. They’re not. I would never want him knowing he was married. I wouldn’t.” I started crying again. “I’m not like that. I swear I’m not. Even though I loved him, I wouldn’t. I never would’ve let him in. Never.” I dropped my head to his chest and sobbed, “I thought it was you. That’s why I answered.”
Jamie’s body stiffened and snapped straight. He made a noise deep in his throat like he was in as much pain as I was, then he bent down, slid one arm around my waist and the other under my knees, and lifted, cradling me against his chest.
“Should’ve been me,” he mumbled against the top of my head, turning us and then walking across the room.
We started ascending the stairs.
I held his neck with one hand and cried with my face tucked under his chin. My eyes were swollen closed. I felt exhausted. Heart and body. I had shed my weight in tears.
Jamie carried me as if that were true.
When we reached the top, Jamie took me six more steps and then he kicked a door open.
The room was dark. He didn’t turn on the light.
My lashes fluttered when I felt soft satin beneath me. It felt cool against the back of my calves.
I was in Jamie’s bed.
I turned my head on the pillow and smelled sunlight and water. I watched through half-opened eyes. I was crying much softer now.
Jamie pulled back the covers, dropped his knee to the bed, and then leaned closer to peel the sheets down underneath me, wiggling them under my bottom and flipping them up and over my feet. Then he climbed in and lay on his side, facing me, tucked his arm under the pillow he was using and with his other pulled and rolled me away from him, putting us back to front.