Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 57876 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 289(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57876 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 289(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
Larry sighed dramatically.
He didn’t approve of Nicholas’s habit of threatening to kill people on a daily basis but he’d stopped asking if his mate was seriously considering it. They’d definitely made progress as a couple.
“We shall be late if our conversation extends in duration.” Giving his mate a little push and me a nod, Larry started moving us toward the restaurant. “We will make the appropriate greetings to introduce our human friend Theo to others he may be interested in mating, and then we shall find a place to sit where he can visually inspect the perspective mates.”
He made it sound like I was picking out my favorite stripper at a club.
I managed not to groan but I was so red I was probably purple. “Thank you for explaining what will happen next.”
“You’re welcome.” Larry was so pleased at my good manners he patted my head making Nicholas giggle. “I will also be happy to provide assistance if your submission requires help in picking out the right meat to consume. Nicholas does not find that to be too intimate, so you need not worry about our relationship.”
Was it weird that I wanted my own awkward alien Dom to overexplain shit?
Probably.
And I’d clearly been hanging out with them too often if all of their insanity made sense.
“Thank you, Larry.” I wasn’t sure what my tone or hormones were saying but I tried not to look like I thought I was stupid. “I appreciate the help.”
Larry got confused when he thought I wasn’t appreciating myself enough and I didn’t want to have to live through that conversation again. Thankfully, whatever I was radiating was either confusing enough or mixed up enough that self-deprecation wasn’t the primary thing he noticed.
“You are welcome, our human friend Theo.” My worries hadn’t dimmed his excitement because he was still puffed up like he’d won a Nobel prize. “There is no need to worry. Your attraction to tentacles and eagerness to mate will be obvious, so you will not have to attempt to communicate those intentions.”
I didn’t have to talk about being horny and liking tentacles because they’d already know that.
Great.
Nicholas was back to snickering as we finally got up to the door and he gave his mate a kiss as Larry opened it for us. “Thank you, baby.”
“You are welcome, my mate.” Larry gave Nicholas a multi-limbed caress as his human mate walked in the door.
I got a smile because you just didn’t wander around caressing other humans once you had a mate, but I appreciated it. “Thank you.”
I had every intention of shifting to small talk and trying to look functional at the very least but my brain skidded to a halt once I took everything in.
There were so many people and so many tentacles.
Logically, I knew Nicholas had said that a large group had gotten together and rented out the restaurant because it was a local favorite, but I just hadn’t realized how many people would be there. The mix of humans and non-humans said everyone had done their best to bring their favorite human sub to show off.
The wide-eyed stares around the room indicated I wasn’t the only human who was feeling out of their depth at the moment.
But man.
“So many tentacles, so little time.” Nicholas’s whispered teasing made me groan.
“I’m not… I can see the person. It’s not.”
Shit.
Larry didn’t see the issue even though my rambling made enough sense that I knew Nicholas had tried to explain my worry. “Our limbs are much better than a human’s. Understanding that and admiring them is not shameful. They are exceedingly useful and come in a variety of colors that humans do not. We are highly attractive.”
And not modest at all.
“You’re right.” He liked hearing that so much it never made me frustrated to have to admit it. “They’re very practical too.”
And hot as fuck.
“Yes.” Larry was very Larry as he responded. “We are designed for ultimate caretaking of human submissives. We can spank, restrain, and pleasure all at the same time.”
Several humans around us started to blush but the aliens were nodding like it was completely factual information.
We’d definitely been too loud.
Part of me was hoping to have a heart attack and just die quietly, but I knew there were too many doctors around and someone would be helpful and resuscitate me.
Smart people could be very dense about stuff like that.
They’d think they were being supportive and then I’d have to say thank you, and they’d feel good about themselves and then they’d ask questions and want to talk about my feelings. God help me if it was an alien that brought me back to life because that’d just get even weirder.
“Oxygen is a requirement for human life.” The way Larry patted me on the head and frowned at me as Nicholas started snickering again made me realize I was holding my breath. When I was functioning again, Larry nodded. “Good human.”