Total pages in book: 18
Estimated words: 17662 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 88(@200wpm)___ 71(@250wpm)___ 59(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 17662 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 88(@200wpm)___ 71(@250wpm)___ 59(@300wpm)
"So please."
But I know it's as she says.
"Please just think things through."
Eva has been my friend her entire life, and she's always had my back.
I know Eva won't lie to me.
And that's what kills me.
That I don't fucking have the confidence to say the same thing about my wife.
Riri
People have been texting me nonstop since I came home. Everyone wants to know if the rumors are true. Someone who knows Jacques has apparently taken photos of us when we were in Aspen, and in those photos, we were both wearing our wedding rings.
Sierah: You can deny it all you want, but I just want to say I am so, so happy for you. Congratulations!
Broderick: I'm happy for you.
My heart hurts when I see that last message. Broderick is truly the sweetest guy, and I love how he's never said a single word against Jacques.
More text messages flood my inbox, but all I can do is read them. Jacques and I hadn't actually talked about this, and I don't want to say anything without consulting him first.
Worry gnaws at my heart when I think about where my husband is and who he's with, but I quickly reprimand myself for this.
You promised to trust him, Riri.
So trust him!
But I still need distracting, and so I spend the next hour preparing my surprise for Jacques. I want our first night in his home to be special.
Mm.
I order two dozen red roses and start scattering the petals all over his apartment. It's such a clichéd thing to do, but I love it, and I hope he---
Huh?
Another round of text messages has flooded my inbox, and all of it has images attached to them.
What's happening?
I click on the first one, and my heart drops to my stomach.
It's my husband and Eva having dinner.
I trust him, I trust him, I trust him.
And I do trust him still, but it hurts.
Oh God, it hurts so, so much.
Why is he letting another woman hold his hand?
Am I being unreasonable to feel hurt over this?
I know she's his friend, but is that reason enough?
The longer I stare at the photo, the harder it is for me to breathe.
I trust him, I trust him, I trust him.
And it's at that moment I hear the apartment door open.
I spin around just as my husband strides in, and when I see him look straight at me---
Oh God, no.
He doesn't even see the rose petals strewn all over the floor, and so I know right away.
"What's wrong?" I whisper.
"You tell me."
It's so, so hard to breathe, God.
The harshness of his tone cuts me to the quick, and I can't help but wonder if he's ever spoken to Eva like this.
"All I want is the truth."
The way he says the words seems to imply that I've been lying to him all this time, and all I can do is look at him in confusion. "I've never lied---"
"Then why didn't you ever tell me about your boyfriend?"
"Whose boy---"
"Stop lying, dammit."
I can't believe he's raised his voice like that, and before I know it, I'm already crying.
"Fuck."
I know it disgusts him to see me crying like a child, but I can't help it. I hate myself for being like this, but I just can't help it.
I didn't know it was possible to hurt this much.
"I'm sorry," my husband says wearily. "I didn't mean to raise my voice at you. I'm just fucking tired."
Of me?
Is he saying he's tired of me...after just one day of marriage?
"It's not your fault. I should have known better. I'm sure you meant what you said about not wanting a marriage founded on lies. But not telling me the truth about your past is still a lie---"
"I don't understand," I choke out.
"I know all about you and Broderick."
"What about us?"
Jacques only shakes his head. "Mon Dieu, Riri."
It's my first time to hear him speak in French, but it breaks my heart that I only hear it because he's tired of me.
"Is...is this about Eva?" I ask shakily. "Because whatever she's said---"
"Don't."
He's suddenly staring at me like I'm poison.
"Don't you dare involve Eva in this."
And when I realize how he's defending the other woman against me---
"She said something about me, didn't she?"
"She only knows how to say the truth---"
"Unlike me, you mean?"
"Those are your words, not mine."
I'm torn between laughing and crying. I just can't believe we're having this conversation when we've only been married for over a day.
"Don't stare at me like that, damn you."
"Then how else am I supposed to stare at you," I sob out, "when you're breaking my heart all over again?"
"If I keep breaking your heart, then why did you even marry me?"
"You know why," I cry out.
"Do I? Do I, really?"
Oh God.
I'm finally starting to understand what that woman has made him think.
"Jacques---"
But I don't care.
"Save it."
I don't want to give up on our marriage.