Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 73928 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73928 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
I’m doing the right thing.
A few hours later, I peel back the bandage from my chest. My left peck to be exact and unveil the words that are a glistening black scrawl.
I weep at mine unworthiness, that dare not offer
What I desire to give, and much less take
What I shall die to want.
When Maddox sees it soon after he laughs once and snaps. “You don’t love her, Dad, really? Pretty sure that’s a specific line from The Tempest. Coincidence? Me thinks not.”
I don’t love her. He’s wrong.
I don’t love her because love isn’t a strong enough word.
Tempest
I became one of those flimsy teen girls last night when I checked my phone repeatedly. I couldn’t sleep. I need to accept the fact he isn’t coming to say goodbye.
The fact I’m leaving hasn’t hit me yet, not even slightly.
Maddox is here, looking around nervously on the tarmac below the private jet that will be dropping Cassius, myself, and the rest of the team off in Pointe-Noire. We’re going to be traveling in total for at least three days to get from LA to Central Africa. It’s around a twenty-five-hour flight with a couple of stops for fuel.
To say we’re dedicated would be an understatement.
I hug his waist and rest my head on his shoulder.
“He’s not coming, stop looking for him.”
I feel him shake his head and hear him sigh. “He’s an idiot, Pest. You can do better. I was wrong.”
“It is what it is.” I lean back so he can kiss my forehead and tears blur my eyes and his. “Look after yourself, stay out of trouble.”
“You too. I want weekly emails or I’m coming to look for you.” He hugs me again and we sway for a while. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll be back before you know it, sleeping in a spare room of your massive house, eating my way through your food.” I’m joking of course. When and if I come back, I’ll be an independent woman. Maybe I’ll even find a new love.
Anything is better than this gaping hole in my chest.
I’m not going to shut myself off from the world and the prospect of love because it hurts. I like the hurt because it comes after all of the happiness and the happiness is worth this. It really is. My time with Sargent was worth this.
“Time to board,” Cassius says and Maddox steps away from me to hug Cassius.
“Keep her safe.”
“I’ll do my best,” Cassius replies and winks at me.
“Back on the meal replacement bars. I don’t know how I’m going to cope without chocolate,” I mumble when one of the crew wanders past with a box full of silver packets ready to be distributed during the flight.
We’re all allocated a certain amount of food each for our bags so nobody can take more than they need.
“I’ll send you some when I can,” Maddox promises but we both know it won’t get there.
I take one last look around the busy airport as planes take off, people stand at the windows and other planes circle above waiting to land.
“I was expecting some kind of romantic ending,” I say and then start laughing. “I thought he’d come running for me at the last minute, we’d kiss and say one last cliché goodbye and that would be that.”
“I’ll give him a hard time for it later.”
“Don’t. He’s doing what’s easy for him. I can’t fault him for that.” I hug my friend again and squeeze as hard as I can. “I’m going to miss you both. Tell him… tell him I’m not sad. That I get it and… yeah, just tell him that.”
“I hate that he’s done this.”
“Don’t. I get it. He can’t say goodbye.” I back away and move to the narrow metal steps leading up to the plane. “I’ll see you soon.”
“You better be back for Christmas!” he snaps.
“I’ll do my best.”
“Weekly emails, Pest!”
“I’ll do my best,” I repeat, smiling sadly now.
“Stay safe.”
This time I whisper it, “I’ll do my best.” Then, with tears falling from my eyes, I head inside and find a seat before the rest of the team arrive and the plane begins to fill. I sit by the window, wiping under my eyes with a balled-up tissue. He didn’t even come to say goodbye.
Sargent
My heart breaks when I see her tears. She’s crying for me, of course she is. I don’t know how I ever doubted her love for me or ever let her go.
I keep my cap low and my head down as I make my way to the seat beside her. She doesn’t look up from the window until I’m sitting next to her and place my hand on hers.
Her questioning scowl becomes a smile of so much happiness and love.
I lace our fingers together, her warm hand heating me to my frosty heart.