Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 76857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
There was so much more to it. So much excitement right outside the boundary of the city. “Don’t you want to know what’s out there, Maeve? Think of all the undiscovered species. Think of the unmade maps. Satellites can’t see through the muck. Robotics are destroyed by wildlife in days. The only way to know what awaits is to walk out there and see it firsthand. Isn’t that a service? We need to mine to build, don’t we? How do you think we find those resources? We need sustenance. There may be multitudes of unknown food sources just waiting to be tasted.”
My dear friend looked as if I had grown two heads. “This idealistic fantasy you are describing is not based on reality. The fog is deadly. Everything that lives in it is deadly. Whatever is going on with you….” Hesitating, it seemed as if Maeve chose her next words carefully. “The list. That's the answer. A mate will fix this confusion. The little kids adore you. Have a baby and grow our numbers. There is no shame in settling down and starting a family. You’d be highly regarded for your contribution.”
It wasn’t bad advice, nor was it meant to be cruel, but it cut me deeply. “You sound like General Cyderial.”
“He’s right. You may not be cut out for military service.” Her hands came up before her, Maeve softening her tone. “Don’t take it like that. All I am saying is that we all care about you.”
“There’s more.” Now they would know just how deeply I had pissed off the general. “I’ve been promoted to Assistant Combat Instructor. I will be training the youngest recruits.”
It was Maeve’s turn to look horrified.
The clear delineation between student and professor allowed for no wiggle room. Not if a student wanted to be safe from horrendous punishments. I would no longer be my sisters’ equal. In their eyes, I would be duty-bound to report on every one of them. At least, that’s how most would see it.
After all, soon, each of them would know I had lied about my skills. Their trust would be shaken.
Now, I would be their superior in rank. They would not be able to confide in me. The itty-bitties might no longer sneak into my room to crawl into bed with me when they were scared or missed their mothers.
At least a few would suspect I’d been reporting on them all along to receive the promotion.
They would consider past injustices and wonder if I’d had a hand in them.
Begging my friend to understand, I whispered, “I will be alienated.”
“That doesn’t… make any sense. You’re not very good with a sword.” Calculations were adding up in her brilliant mind, as it all occurred to her at once. Her standing would be rocked by this as well. Including the rank of top in her class, which she'd been busting her ass for years to achieve. “Are you?”
Yes. I was. “I don’t want your position, but he’s going to force me to take it away unless… I put my name on the list.”
Relief flashed in her green eyes. “Then do it! I know you wouldn’t do this to me.”
I knew exactly how she felt, that hysterical terror that everything she’d worked so hard for was about to be stolen. But I could not put my name on the list. “I’m so sorry, Maeve, but I’m not ready to mate. Whoever heard my song would never let me go into the fog.”
Stricken, it was her turn to share her horror. “You've betrayed me. You've betrayed all of us….”
“Not on purpose.” Hearts breaking, I didn’t know how to fix anything. All I knew was that I could not stand to think one of my sisters might hate me. “No one was supposed to know.”
But it was too late. Her body language went from informal to stiff, Maeve already hardening her mind against her old friend. “Is my life some kind of joke to you? You’re going to just sweep in and take everything away, because you don’t want to submit to a man? You don’t even want rank!” Or do you? Her unspoken suspicion was right on her face.
I was going to be sick. Reaching out for her, I said, “It’s not personal. I swear.”
Yanking herself out of my grasp, she spat, “The hell it isn’t! I have plans, you know.”
And that was the pure tragedy in all of this. “So did I.”
Maeve gave me a measured look of disgust—one made all the worse by the unbearable sadness beneath it. I had been one of her best friends, and now, she’d grieve the girl who’d been nothing but a lie.
Storming out, she slammed my door with the full strength of a hybrid female.
Knowing exactly how she felt, knowing I was done for in the sisterhood, I crawled right back into bed and stared at the wall. Numb and so very lonely.