Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 123873 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 619(@200wpm)___ 495(@250wpm)___ 413(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123873 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 619(@200wpm)___ 495(@250wpm)___ 413(@300wpm)
Brendan just shrugged it off. Not his business, and he was already keeping too many of Cillian’s secrets. Instead he settled back against the sofa once more, lacing his hands together over his stomach, thinking, watching the faint flicker of the light fixtures as he let his thoughts come together into a conclusion.
Well.
That would have to do, then.
“If it’s so important to you,” he said, “sleep with me.”
Cillian jolted so hard his foot snapped out and hit the ottoman with a thud.
“What?”
l
THERE WAS NO WAY IN fucking hell Cillian heard that right.
He stared at Brendan—who watched him back with unflappable calm, as if he’d just suggested going out for a coffee and not…not…
“When you say sleep with you…” Oh God, Cillian was going to die, the human heart was not made to operate at this speed… “…I…I need to be clear what you mean. Because you know what…what I’m looking for is not…vanilla sex.”
“I know,” Brendan replied without even hesitating, the thick curls of his accent wrapping around the words to give them a lazy drag, rolling over the syllables like molasses. “I created this problem. I can at least offer some solution.”
He shouldn’t talk like that, looking the way he did with his thighs casually spread and his hips slung forward, when Cillian could still feel that kiss that had flipped his senses upside down until they’d still yet to come right again.
“What you want,” Brendan continued matter-of-factly, “is a partner you can trust to pretend to rape you without actually hurting you more than you want to be hurt. It’s just another form of acting, Cillian. We’d just be playing our parts. And at least you know if you use your safe word, I’ll actually stop.”
Cillian’s brain nearly exploded.
Did he have to say it so bluntly?
“What makes you think I’m even attracted to you?!”
Brendan only rolled his head to the side, watching Cillian with a deadpan, knowing stare, dark brows lofting.
Cillian narrowed his eyes. “…oh, you are such a dick.”
“That’s not a denial.”
“It’s not a confirmation either! Seriously, what makes you think I’m attracted to you?”
“You’re blushing,” Brendan answered with a noncommittal shrug. “Maybe that’s just embarrassment and frustration, though. But did embarrassment and frustration make you kiss me back like that?”
“N-no—I was just—it was part of the moment! To make it believable.”
“Uh-huh.” Another shrug. “Then we won’t, then. Just be more careful on Grindr. Vet your people before you give them access to you. Be discreet. Don’t get caught, and no one can accuse you of ‘cheating’ on me.”
“Wait, I—” Cillian screwed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. “…I would rather it was you, but…it would help if you weren’t so fucking indifferent to it. This is…this is really personal for me.”
“…Cillian.”
That call of his name made him open his eyes—almost against his will. Brendan just had that effect on him. One murmur of his name in that darkly rumbling voice, and it made him want to see that voice reflected in deep brown eyes.
Deep brown eyes that he found watching him intently, when he made himself look.
“I’m offering to sleep with you,” Brendan said softly. “To do things with you I’ve never done with anyone else. To possibly step very far outside my comfort zone. Do you really think it’s not personal for me?”
“But…you’re…you’re so calm.”
“Because there’s nothing to get upset over. It’s mutually consenting casual sex between two adults who happen to find each other agreeably attractive. I save my temper tantrums for the real problems.”
Cillian smiled faintly. “That’s a really arse backward way of saying you think I’m hot.”
“You’re cute. Ask me about ‘hot’ after we see if we can pull this off.” Was Brendan Lau actually teasing him? With a faint twitch to his lips, lips that made Cillian’s heart beat rough and raw, Brendan offered a large, long hand. “Do we have a deal? You can drop by my place after we’re done shooting for the day. We can do a few readings, brush up on characterization, and then I’ll do whatever you want me to do to you as long as it doesn’t involve leaving bruises or other marks that’ll show up on camera. I draw the line at being asked to injure you.”
Cillian started to reach for that hand—then stopped. “Wait. You want to do readings with me, too? Is…am I fucking it up that badly?”
The way Brendan considered him made Cillian wonder if he was just…looking for a kind way to tell Cillian how much he sucked. After a few moments, Brendan said thoughtfully, “You’re not bad. But you said it yourself. You feel overshadowed by me, by Sophie. We’re both very large personalities. And instead of rising to meet us, you’re shrinking away.”
“I can’t help it,” Cillian protested. “You’re Brendan Lau.”
“And you are the star,” Brendan pointed out quietly, his hand still outstretched. “I’m just the antagonist. This is your show. Yours and Sophie’s. You’re the important one here. Act like it.”