Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 123873 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 619(@200wpm)___ 495(@250wpm)___ 413(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123873 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 619(@200wpm)___ 495(@250wpm)___ 413(@300wpm)
“I—”
He stopped.
And across the entire auditorium, his eyes met Brendan’s.
They widened, and Cillian went still; so did Brendan, that look striking so deep it seemed to find feelings he’d never known existed and teased them to life. For long moments, Cillian just stared.
Before a slow, shy smile touched his lips, and Brendan’s heart skipped a beautiful beat.
Maybe there was hope after all.
He couldn’t have stopped himself from smiling if he tried—and he didn’t want to try. Proud of you, he mouthed—and he wasn’t sure if Cillian caught it in the darkness and the distance, but Cillian ducked his head, cheeks flushing as he cleared his throat and leaned into the microphone again.
“Since Sophie didn’t say much, I hope you won’t mind if I use the extra time to speak. I’ve…I’ve got quite a bit to say, and honestly I’m so overwhelmed I don’t even know where to start.” Grinning, he raised the golden figure of the award. “Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. To come this far on my first major film…it couldn’t have happened without you.” Setting the award down, he sobered. “There were days when I thought I wouldn’t make it through. There were things I didn’t think I could endure. But I did. With the help of good friends…and someone very special who chose to help me in so many ways, even though he didn’t have to.”
Now his gaze drifted to Brendan again—and Brendan realized…oh. What…what was Cillian doing?
Pale brown eyes held his steadily as Cillian continued, “That person taught me to fight for what I want, instead of making a halfhearted stand and then taking the easy way out. He taught me that it’s all right to choose myself, to choose my own happiness, over what other people expect of me. So…” He let out a self-deprecating laugh, lowering his eyes. “This is probably not the best place to do this, since my parents are probably watching at home, but… Mother, Father, I’m not coming home. I showed you I could do what I set out to do, and I want to keep doing it, so I hope you’ll love me enough to accept me anyway. You were fine with me being gay, being an actor shouldn’t be that much harder to accept.”
A smattering of laughter ran through the crowd. Cillian bowed his head, resting his hands to the edge of the podium, his heavy breath loud against the microphone.
“I’ve only got a couple of minutes, and they’re running out fast,” he said softly. “But I wanted to talk about the love I feel when I make a film. The love that comes from all of you, giving your hearts and your time to let me breathe a story to life for you. Yet while filming this production, I found a different love, too…one that means just as much to me.”
He lifted his head, eyes glimmering as they moved over the crowd, and God was he breathtaking right now, the raw emotion bleeding from him to steal Brendan’s heart.
“In Heart of Snow, I played a man who fell in lust at first sight…and in love he first time he glimpsed the true heart of the woman he was so infatuated with.” Once again his gaze locked on Brendan, intense, bright. “I played that part in real life, too. Only it wasn’t a woman I was infatuated with. It was Brendan Lau.”
Whispers rose. Hundreds of heads turned toward Brendan.
He didn’t care.
He was completely caught in Cillian; in the spell of his presence, of his words.
Of his heart, laying bare for millions what he’d told Brendan.
And that Brendan had thrown away.
“I have a confession to make.” Cillian’s voice rang over the space, calling people’s attention back to him. “Brendan and I were never dating. He was protecting me from someone predatory on the set of Heart of Snow. Because that’s who he is.” Cillian’s smile cut through the noise, the whispers. “He does things for people with no thought for his own gratification or image or anything like that. Just because they need to be done. So he sheltered me. He watched over me. And he lied, for my sake. I’m sorry. I’m sorry we lied to you about our relationship.”
“Brave kid,” Drake muttered. “That kind of honestly in the face of public crucifixion.”
“That’s who he is,” Brendan whispered, and that pride within him was almost too great to bear. “He finds his way to what’s right when he’s ready.”
“…would’ve been nice if he’d told me he was going to do this before trending topics exploded.”
“Twitter will get over its collective shit in a day or less.” Brendan flicked Drake’s arm. “Hush. He’s not done.”
“Here’s the thing,” Cillian said—then stopped, laughing a little, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth. “Sorry. I’m not…used to this. I’m getting a little emotional.”