Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 34419 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 172(@200wpm)___ 138(@250wpm)___ 115(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 34419 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 172(@200wpm)___ 138(@250wpm)___ 115(@300wpm)
"Did you r-really cut a deal with them?" I ask brokenly. "D-Did you agree to end our betrothal—-"
"Ho sbagliato, tesoro. I made a mistake—-"
"So it is true," I say brokenly. "In exchange of h-having the charges dropped, you didn't care that they'd make me marry someone else—-"
He tries to take my hands into his, but I nearly fall out of my seat just to avoid his touch. It wasn't so long ago that I used to crave any kind of contact with him, but now...
"Listen to me, teso—-"
"Stop calling me that," I choke out.
"Then just listen. Per favore. Just please fucking listen. I hurt you. I know that. And I kept hurting you...because I couldn't handle how you made me feel...so fucking needy. My mother...she was sent away in prison. She offered to take the blame for my father. Because she loved him—-like I—-"
No!
The moment I realize what he's about to say, I lose it.
No more, dammit.
I manage to take Cesare by surprise as I shove him away, but God—-
He's always just too fast for me, and I haven't even reached the door when he wraps his arms around mine from behind—-
"I love you, Penelope."
It hurts, oh God. It hurts to hear the words and know that they can't be real.
"I love you so fucking much it reminded me of how my mother desperately loved my father, and how much she begged him to come visit her, but he never fucking did. He told her to fucking deal with the fact that it was over between them, and so she killed herself."
God, no.
I've covered my ears the moment he started speaking, but his words were just too good at piercing my heart—-
"I was terrified I would be like her, tesoro."
So am I, dammit.
Because these words of his are hurting me just as much, with the way they're forcing me to see that the man I used to think as ruthlessly perfect...is as human and flawed as I am.
"I loved you too fucking much, and so I also knew I would not be able to fucking bear it...if they were to succeed in having me sentenced for murder, and I'd be forced to see you gradually get bored of being with me."
Cesare suddenly spins me around, and God, oh God—-
Now, I have no choice but to see the way his haunted gaze reflected the terror in his heart.
"I know I've failed and hurt you too many times," Cesare says rawly. "I know I have done nothing to deserve you, but please...please give me another chance, tesoro."
I never imagined a day would come that a man as proud as Cesare would end up begging—-but that's exactly what he's doing now.
"You don't even have to be mine. You don't have to fucking marry me or sign anything. Just take me back, per favore."
And it hurts.
"Make me yours. Punish me for the rest of my life...just don't fucking go."
It's Cesare's voice this time that cracks, and the sound reminds me for some reason of that one night I've spent in his arms—-
'I don't want another day to pass without making you my wife.'
Those were the very words he whispered, words that I knew even then were simply Cesare's way of indirectly saying he loved me—-because he does.
Cesare loves me.
But imperfect man that he was, he also ended up hurting me because he loved me.
I guess it really is today that everything becomes clear, God.
Cesare's powerful body jerks when I shakily reach up to clasp his face, and my own heart aches when I see him suck his breath at my touch.
Cesare loves me.
I know this is true now, but even though the thought of taking him back and leaving me open again to pain still terrifies me—-
When I think about the people I've loved and lost, and the ones I could've loved but are no longer here—-
It really is so clear now, God.
I think about the lives I've ended without meaning to—-
I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry.
And it drives a simple point home.
Life is short.
And that's when the tears start falling, and a smile wobbles to my lips as I look up.
"Ti amo, Cesare," I whisper.
He hauls me close in the next second—-
"Ti amo, Penelope."
The rawness of his voice tells me I'm not the only one who's crying...because that's just how love is.
Epilogue
THE NEWLYWEDS SAID their goodbyes at the stroke of midnight, and their guests cheered wildly as Cesare swept a blushing Penelope up in his arms before swiftly striding out of the ballroom and carrying her straight into a waiting chopper whose enormous blades were whipping up gusts of wind that had the long train of her gown dancing in the air.
Her cheeks were flushed with excitement as he settled her down on her seat, and Cesare carefully placed a pair of headsets over her ears before taking his place next to her and putting on a pair of his own.