Total pages in book: 12
Estimated words: 11299 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 56(@200wpm)___ 45(@250wpm)___ 38(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 11299 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 56(@200wpm)___ 45(@250wpm)___ 38(@300wpm)
“I am.”
“Okay. I would be there for you.”
I only nod, and he wraps an arm around me. I lean my head on his and ask, “Will you still talk to me after this?”
He doesn’t even hesitate. “Of course, Cam.”
“So, you don’t hate me?”
“Never,” he admits. “I’m only worried for you.”
I close my eyes and cuddle into him. “Thank you for being here.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I want to be here.”
We don’t say anything else, and the anxiety of all this is overwhelming. It feels like time is passing slower than ever. I just want this to be over. I want to move on, and I want to forgive myself. I want to never step foot in this place ever again. I want this all to be a distant memory.
“Cameron White?”
I’ve never hated my name so much in my life.
Benny stands before me, and he takes my hand to guide me up. He moves my hair behind my ear and then kisses my lips, surprising the shit out of me. I lean into the kiss, needing it more than I could ever imagine. When he pulls back, our eyes lock, and my heart stops dead in my chest.
“I’ll be here when you come out.”
I swallow past my sob and nod. “Okay.”
I start for the nurse, and his voice follows me. “It’s all going to be okay, Cam. Don’t worry. I’m here.”
My bottom lip wobbles, and I nod as I head through the door. When it slams behind me, I jump at the noise just as my eyes fall on a sign.
You can change your mind.
You have options.
Ask.
No matter, it’s your choice.
I read the words again, and I think the nurse knows what I’m doing, so she gives me a second as I continue to read them, again and again. As the words drown in my tears, I remind myself that I made this choice because what I do with my body is up to me. I have to trust that. I’m still scared, of course. Not of my choice—I know it’s the right one—but of the pain and the fact that I am aborting something I helped make. I never thought I’d have this kind of obstacle to overcome, but I know I will be able to.
I swallow past the sob in my throat just as she asks me, “Are you ready?”
I look over at her, and with all the strength given to me by Benny and my teammates, I say, “Yes, I am.”
And together, we walk to the room.
I am beyond grateful for the people who have been here for me through this, but I am more grateful that this choice is mine. That I am able to make a decision like this and I have this option. I know there are other options, and maybe one day, I’ll have the choice again, and I may choose differently, but right now, it’s the light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m running for it.
I don’t know what my future holds, but at least it’ll be the future I chose.