Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 43759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
m uch, and I’m crazy about y ou, and I wish…. But I’m not gay, so I don’t
get it. Why do I feel like this?” Mac sounded so genuinely confused.
Jez had a lum p the size of a fist in his throat. “What do y ou wish?” he
whispered. His heart surged like a bird fluttering its wings against the cage
of his ribs.
There was a long pause.
“I wish we could be boy friends.” Mac’s voice was sm all and
uncertain. “I know it’s stupid and y ou don’t want that, but—”
“Why do y ou think I don’t want that?” Jez’s voice cam e out m ore
sharply than he’d intended. “I do. Fuck, I’ve wanted it for a while now.”
“But y ou were so freaked out last weekend when Shawn caught us,
and then y ou ended it….”
“Because I thought that was what you wanted. You were the one
who kept insisting y ou weren’t gay. I thought this was j ust a bit of fun for
y ou.”
“I’m not gay. Or I wasn’t till the first tim e I kissed y ou. That was
when every thing changed.” Mac’s hand tightened on the back of Jez’s
neck. “Before that it was j ust a bit of fun. But after that night it was
fucking confusing because it was so m uch m ore than that. It is m ore than
that. So, can we try again?”
Jez drew back. He wished he could see Mac’s expression in the dark.
Mac sounded so hopeful, so sincere, and Jez’s heart filled and overflowed
as he sm iled into the darkness.
“Yes.” He closed the gap and found Mac’s lips. He kissed him lightly.
Their dry lips caught, and he tasted the faint sweetness of alcohol on
Mac’s breath. Mac’s hand on the back of Jez’s neck held him there, and he
deepened the kiss for a m om ent before pulling back.
“So this is it. We’re boy friends now?” Mac still sounded uncertain.
Jez pressed his palm against Mac’s chest and felt the answering thud
of his heart. “Yep. Boy friends who aren’t gay.” He chuckled.
Mac was quiet for a m om ent. “We’re going to tell people now, y eah?
And they ’ll all assum e we’re gay.”
Jez shrugged. “Let them think what they like. Gay, bi, gay for each
other, I don’t care. Fuck labels. I’m into y ou and y ou’re into m e, and that’s
what m atters.”
Mac wrapped his arm s m ore tightly around Jez and kissed his cheek.
“Yeah. That’s all I care about too.”
Chapter Fifteen
On the last Friday of term , they threw an early Christm as party in
their house before they all went their separate way s for the holiday s. The
party was on Friday night, and Jez and Mac were both heading hom e for
Christm as on Sunday. Jez was dreading the im pending separation but
try ing not to show it. They ’d only be apart for a couple of weeks, and
they could talk or Sky pe every day. He suspected Mac was feeling the
sam e, though, because he’d been like a lim pet in bed for the past few
nights. Jez had got used to waking up with Mac plastered to his back every
night this week. He’d m iss it over the holiday s.
The house was packed, the lights low, there were bits of tinsel draped
around the place, and loud m usic filled the living room . Jez snuggled
closer to Mac on the sofa and plucked the bottle of beer out of his hand.
Jez had finished his bottle and couldn’t be arsed to fight his way through
the crowds to get another one. Mac turned and sm iled, putting his hand on
Jez’s thigh in a possessive gesture that sent a little thrill through Jez. Being
affectionate in front of other people was still a novelty. Jez didn’t think
he’d ever get tired of it.
Telling their friends about their relationship hadn’t been as difficult as
Jez was expecting. Word had spread fast, but it was better that way as it
m eant they had less people to tell them selves. Mostly, people had been
pretty cool with it and seem ed happy for them .
Shawn was still uncom fortable around them , but to his credit, he was
try ing now. When they ’d told him they were an item , the first thing he
said was “So it wasn’t a one-off, then?”
Jez had fessed up to the lie, adm itting it had been going on a while.
Shawn snapped that he didn’t need the gory details and proceeded to
avoid them both for a few day s. But gradually he’d chilled out and started
behaving m ore norm ally again. There was still som e residual tension on
both sides, but Jez figured they ’d get past it eventually. And if they didn’t,
then Shawn wasn’t a friend worth keeping.
Jez had decided to tell his parents the day after he and Mac got it
together properly. He was the sort of person who preferred to get difficult