Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 43759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
“I’ll tell him it was nothing. That it was a one-tim e thing, that we were
drunk and passed out after watching porn and j erking each other off or
som ething. I m ean, he’ll still think it’s gay, but that won’t sound as bad,
right?”
Jez was dressed now, and he m et Mac’s gaze. Mac’s expression was
tense.
“Um … y eah. Okay.” His voice sounded strained. “Yeah. Tell him
whatever y ou want. Whatever y ou think will help.”
Jez went to Shawn’s room , but he wasn’t there. He cursed under his
breath and then ran down the stairs, following the sound of cupboard
doors slam m ing and the clatter of the cutlery drawer. In the kitchen he
found Shawn and Mike. They were both dressed in sports clothes; Jez
hadn’t noticed what Shawn was wearing before.
Shawn had his back to the door when Jez entered. Jez was alm ost
afraid to look at Mike. Had Shawn already told him what he’d seen?
But Mike looked up from the cereal he was pouring out, sm iled, and
gave him a cheery, “Hi.” There was nothing in his expression to suggest
that he knew.
“Uh, hi. You guy s are up early. What’s going on?”
“We lost a bet last night, prom ised Katie off m y course and her
friend that we’d play squash with them this m orning.”
“Oh.” Jez tried to sum m on up the will to sm ile. “I bet that’ll be fun
with a hangover.”
“Well, at this rate we won’t get to play, because Shawn’s racket’s
broken. That’s why he cam e to borrow y ours. Sham e y ou’ve lost it.”
Relief flooded Jez as his suspicions were confirm ed. Shawn had kept
his m outh shut. “Yeah. You can probably hire one, though.”
“Yeah.” Mike picked up his bowl and headed for the kitchen door.
Jez waited till he’d gone and then pushed the door shut, wanting to
m ake sure they weren’t overheard. Shawn still had his back to him . He
was standing over the toaster, glaring at it as though willing it to pop.
“Shawn, m ate,” Jez began.
“Don’t,” Shawn snapped. “I feel like I don’t know y ou at all
any m ore. But whatever. It’s not m y business.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Jez’s irritation flared. “I’m exactly the sam e
person I’ve alway s been. What difference would it m ake if I was gay ?”
“Are y ou?” Shawn turned then, and his face was hard.
Jez took a breath and paused a m om ent. “I don’t know. I don’t think
so? But m ay be I’m not totally straight either.”
Shawn snorted. “D’y a think?”
“But any way, the point is, m e and Mac, it was j ust a one-tim e thing.
We’d had a few beers and stuff happened. It was nothing. Nothing that
m atters.” His gut lurched at the lie, because it did m atter to Jez. But
keeping their secret and protecting Mac m attered m ore. “So… please
don’t tell any one, okay ?”
Shawn stared at him . Jez felt each thum p of his heart while he
waited.
“Yeah,” he said finally. “Okay. Like I said—it’s none of m y business
any way.”
Jez guessed that was as good as he was going to get.
Once Shawn and Mike had left, Jez went back upstairs. His room was
em pty now, so he went to Mac’s and tapped on the door. Mac grunted
som ething that sounded like “Com e in.”
“Hey,” Jez said.
Mac was fully dressed and ly ing sprawled in the m iddle of his bed.
Jez sat awkwardly on the edge, and Mac didn’t m ove over to m ake space.
His face was shuttered and unhappy -looking.
“Stop stressing. Shawn’s not gonna say any thing.” Jez was pretty
sure they could trust him . He m ight be a bit of a twat som etim es, and he
clearly had issues with what he’d seen this m orning. But Shawn wasn’t
usually a troublem aker or a gossip. Jez didn’t think he’d drop them in it
with any of their other friends.
“Yeah? What did y ou say to him ?”
“Like I said to y ou. I told him it was a drunken one-off. That it didn’t
m ean any thing and wasn’t going to happen again. I thought that was best
for dam age lim itation.”
“Okay.” Mac didn’t look any happier.
“I’m sorry.”
“What? Why ?” Mac frowned, his dark ey es troubled.
“Well, it’s all m y fault, isn’t it? That any of this happened in the first
place. It was stupid. We should never have started it.” Once Jez began
talking, the words kept com ing. He felt sick, but he knew it was for the
best. It was tim e they put an end to this before any one else found out and
things got even m ore m essy and em barrassing. “Let’s call it a day, eh? It
was fun for a while, but it’s got out of hand.” He forced out the last words
over the lum p in his throat. “I think it’s best if we go back to being j ust