Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 43759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
free ride from their parents. It’s fair enough, really. But I wish he didn’t
m ake m e feel so bad about it. I fucked up last y ear and I know it. But I
hate feeling like I’m disappointing him .”
“Well, y ou’re back on track now, y eah?” Mac’s ey es were warm and
reassuring.
“Yeah.” Jez sm iled. Som etim es he couldn’t help sm iling when he
looked at Mac. “Yeah, I am .”
One afternoon Jez got back to the house after a tutorial that finished
early and found Josh in the kitchen m aking instant coffee.
“Want any thing?” Josh asked. “There’s enough hot water.”
“Yeah, I’ll have a coffee too, cheers. White, no sugar.”
“The opposite of m ine, then.” Josh grinned.
Jez watched as Josh spooned and stirred, adding m ilk to Jez’s and two
heaped teaspoonfuls of sugar to the dark liquid in his own m ug.
They took their coffees into the living room . Josh sat on one of the
sofas and picked up a m agazine. Jez took the other sofa, sitting with his
elbows on his knees and staring at the carpet as he listened to the sound of
the pages rustle as Josh turned them , obviously searching for som ething
that caught his interest.
Jez felt a question he’d been wanting to ask Josh for ages itching at
the back of his m ind. He sighed and shifted in his seat, picking at the skin
around his fingers as he tried to work up the courage.
He finally asked, the words com ing out in a rush, “When did y ou
know y ou were gay ?”
The sound of the pages turning stopped, and there was a long silence.
When Jez finally dared to look up, Josh was watching him with a
thoughtful expression. Jez was relieved to see there wasn’t a trace of
teasing there, but he felt his cheeks heat any way.
“I dunno. Alway s, m ay be? There wasn’t a big sudden ‘oh m y God,
I’m gay ’ m om ent for m e. I alway s had crushes on boy s, and when I
worked out what m y dick was for, I didn’t want to put it in girls. So it was
pretty obvious.”
“So, y ou’ve never…?”
“I tried it once.” Josh wrinkled his nose and chuckled. “But I couldn’t
get it up, so that only m ade m e m ore sure.” There was a long pause, and
for a m om ent Jez thought he m ight have got away without having to talk
about him self. But Josh held his gaze, and his green ey es were curious.
“Why do y ou want to know?”
Jez winced inwardly. But if he didn’t want to talk about it, he shouldn’t
have brought it up in the first place. “I, um ….” He took a deep breath. “I
think I like guy s. But I like girls too, so I didn’t take the liking-blokes part
seriously before.”
“Before what?”
Jez floundered for a m om ent. No way was he going to m ention
Mac’s part in his realisations. “Nothing specific. I’ve j ust been thinking
about it a lot recently —and watching gay porn.” That part was true, and
it had been very enlightening.
Josh’s lips curved in a knowing sm ile, and his lip ring glinted where it
caught the light. “Is this the bit where y ou ask if y ou can test out the
theory with m e? Because I would—if y ou wanted to.”
Jez gaped in shock, because that absolutely wasn’t what he was
suggesting, but he let him self im agine it for a split second. It would be
straightforward with Josh. He was attractive, there would be no
com plicated feelings, and Jez would be with som eone who knew what he
was doing and was into it 100 percent—phy sically, at least. It would be
the perfect way to test out his newfound interest in m en and m ay be to
experim ent with som e of the things Jez wanted to try but didn’t dare
suggest to Mac. But no…. Jez felt a strange sense of loy alty to Mac even
though it was totally m isplaced. He didn’t for a m om ent think that Mac
would care about him fooling around with som eone else, but it didn’t feel
right. Plus having sex with one housem ate was awkward enough; the last
thing Jez needed was to m ake his life even m ore com plicated.
“No. That’s not what this conversation was about. But… thanks for
the offer, really.”
“Any tim e.” Josh grinned. “Deflowering gay virgins is fun.”
“Fuck off.” Jez snorted. “I’m not com pletely innocent.”
“Oh y eah?” Josh looked gleeful at the potential for gossip.
Jez ignored him and picked up his coffee, taking a gulp to stop
him self from oversharing. It was tem pting to spill every thing to Josh, but
Jez couldn’t risk it. Not when the secret belonged to Mac as well as him .
When it was obvious that no m ore j uicy details were forthcom ing,