Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 43759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43759 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
on the brink of som ething wonderful. How had it all gone so badly wrong?
He sighed.
“Trouble in paradise?” Josh asked.
“Huh?”
“You and Mac.” Josh’s green ey es were too knowing. “You’ve both
been m iserable all week. It’s obvious.”
“Really ? I m ean… y eah. I’ve not been the best. But I thought Mac
was okay. I haven’t seen m uch of him , to be honest.”
“He’s not okay.”
“Oh.” Jez felt a sm all twinge of hope, which he quickly tam ped
down. Because even if Mac was m issing him a little, it didn’t m ean they
should start things up again. After a week, Jez still felt raw whenever he
thought about Mac. What would be the point of rekindling their
relationship—such as it was—unless it had som e sort of future?
“You should talk to him .” Josh m ade it sound so easy. “I think y ou’re
on the sam e page.”
“It’s not as sim ple as that. Neither of us is out. Mac’s not even gay,
for fuck’s sake. He’s very clear about that.”
“Labels can be restrictive. Som etim es y ou need to stop thinking
about gender and sexuality and focus on the person. If y ou care about
them , if y ou feel good when y ou’re with them , if y ou’re hot for them …
then what does any of the rest of it m atter?”
“Try telling that to Mac.”
“I could… but m ay be you should.” Josh y awned deeply, and then
unfolded his slender fram e from the sofa and stretched, showing a few
inches of flat stom ach and his hipbones where his j eans dipped low.
“Any way, I’m off to catch up on som e sleep. Good night.”
“Night.”
Much later that night Jez was ly ing in bed, sleep eluding him as he
went over the conversation with Josh. It m ade a lot of sense. But Jez
couldn’t help feeling it would be easier to be totally gay or totally straight.
He couldn’t im agine explaining his bisexuality to his parents, for
exam ple. But then he didn’t need to—not unless he was ever in a serious
relationship with another guy.
His drifting thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening and
closing and the m uffled sounds of voices downstairs. He could hear
people m oving around in the kitchen beneath his bedroom and som eone
else com ing up the stairs.
The knock on his door startled him .
“Com e in?”
Jez’s room was in darkness, but the light from the landing showed
Mac’s broad silhouette as he paused in the doorway. Jez blinked, dazzled
by the sudden brightness.
“Sorry. You asleep?” Mac’s voice was a little soft around the edges
from alcohol, but he didn’t sound totally wasted.
“Obviously not. Are y ou com ing in or what?”
Mac cam e in and shut the door behind him . He stum bled in the
darkness, landing heavily on the edge of Jez’s bed. He flopped down and
rolled to face Jez, threw a heavy arm across him , and m oved closer so
that their foreheads were touching. His breath was warm and beery on
Jez’s face, and Jez wanted to kiss him so fucking badly.
Instead he asked, “What do y ou want, Mac?”
“You.” Mac let out the word in a long sigh. He brought his hand up to
curl around the nape of Jez’s neck; the pad of his thum b pressed against
Jez’s racing pulse.
Jez tried to ignore the thrill of excitem ent and hope that surged
through him . It’s not that simple, he rem inded him self.
It would be so easy to close the gap and kiss Mac, to get each other
naked and give in to the raw, phy sical desire that Mac inspired in him . But
that wasn’t enough for Jez any m ore.
Mac filled the silence of Jez’s thoughts. “I only went out tonight
because I knew if I stay ed in, I wouldn’t be able to keep m y hands off
y ou. I can’t help it. I can’t stop thinking about y ou—all the fucking tim e.”
“Mac, please….” Jez didn’t even know what he was asking for. This
was all very good for Jez’s ego, but terrible for his heart, because he
wanted Mac to want him for m ore than his body, or his cock-sucking
abilities, or his arse.
But Mac was on a roll now, and the words poured out of him ,
seem ingly unfiltered. “I don’t know what y ou’ve done to m e, but y ou’ve
broken m y dick. We went to this club, and Gem m a was all over m e on
the dance floor, and I didn’t even get a little bit hard. All I could think
about was y our stupid face, and what it felt like that tim e I sucked y ou
off, and how m uch it turned m e on, even though I never thought I’d like
it.”
Jez tried again. “Mac—”
“And I m issed y ou this week,” Mac interrupted. “I m issed y ou so