Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 107687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Louisa has a short, blunt cut, her dark hair dusting her cheeks and her wide-set darker-hazel eyes framed by thick dark lashes. She wears a crop top, too, but with high-waisted pants.
I’m wearing leggings and a tee.
I groan loudly as Eliza and Louisa team up again me. I was a bit upset when only Louisa and Eliza came to go shopping, but now I couldn’t be more thankful. I know Elliot and Clara would have ganged up on me too. All my sisters are very girlie, and while I am too—I mean, I love pretty stuff and sparkles—I just hate getting dressed up. I’ve never been allowed to get dressed up just for me.
“And if you don’t care about looking good, at least show some tits. But we all know that’s a no-go with you.”
I make a face. I’m not a prude, but man, they make me feel like one. There was a time when I had no choice what I could wear. I was forced into slinky slips or just my bra and panties to be looked at. Louisa and Eliza were too, but they don’t struggle with the insecurities I do. Or at least, they don’t act like it. With their being the oldest, they went through it way longer than we younger girls did, and I only lasted a couple months before I left. Those months were enough to scar me for life.
When Louisa picks up a stunning red number with a low-cut front and a long skirt, I look at her pointedly and say, “It would look lovely on you.”
“Oh, it would. Maybe I’ll pick me up a hot hockey player who wants to slam me into the wall instead of the boards,” she says with a wink, and Eliza giggles with no cares.
“I approve. I need someone equally hot to slam me into the wall.”
I chew on my lip and even snap my wrist because there is absolutely no reason for me to ask, but I do. “Won’t you feel naked in that?”
They both look at me. Louisa eyes me for a minute as Eliza brings a dress to her chest.
“Doesn’t it remind you of the Halo?” I ask to fill the silence, and I wish I hadn’t. They both look as if I’ve hit them. We talk openly about our time with New Beginnings, but usually it’s just our good memories, not the bad ones.
It’s Louisa who takes a hesitant step to me. She reaches out, taking my hand in hers as her eyes lock with mine. “No, it doesn’t, Austen. We’re gone. They have no power over us. They can’t tell us how to dress, how to behave, or even who to be with. We took back our power, and I refuse to allow those memories to take away the joy that a red dress makes me feel.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat.
“I let them win for far too long,” Eliza says then. “They don’t get to dictate anything we do now.”
I gaze at my sisters, both so resilient and astonishing in their own rights. The thing is, so am I. So, why don’t I think the way they do?
“You should dress in what makes you feel beautiful, Austen. I’d rather it be a dress, but if you want to wear a pantsuit, do it,” Eliza insists, and I know she’s right.
I look down at where Louisa holds my hand. “I always feel like they’ll find me and punish me if I do what I want.”
Louisa squeezes my hand tightly. “They won’t. We’re protected, Austen. And fuck them.”
I gasp. “Louisa!”
“No. Fuck them,” she repeats. “I watched them bite you, beat you, and take what they wanted from you. They don’t own anything of you. Look at what you’re doing, at all you’re accomplishing daily. And if they did try, you wouldn’t let them take you back.”
She’s right; no one would take me back. Wetness stings my eyes as Eliza steps beside me and squeezes my side.
“It’s hard for me because we never got dressed up other than for them.”
Eliza leans into me. “You’re right. Which is why you should want to dress for you now. In what makes you happy and you feel confident in. Because, girl, you got it going on.”
I smile as she leans into me, her hazel eyes full of such love. “I just don’t ever want to feel like I did in the Halo,” I whisper as my heart hurts. For myself now, and for younger me.
Louisa looks deep into my eyes, not allowing me to look away. She grabs my wrist when I go to snap it and squeezes. “There is nothing in the world that can make you feel like we did when we were in the Halo. We were cattle for men. Yes, men are always looking at females. And yes, they’ll flirt with or hit on you. But a good man, a real man, will never touch you without permission.”