Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 119454 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 597(@200wpm)___ 478(@250wpm)___ 398(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119454 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 597(@200wpm)___ 478(@250wpm)___ 398(@300wpm)
“I’m not easy to get along with sometimes. I told you what some of my problems are. The question becomes, will I address them for the right person? More than likely I would…”
“…All of this. These things you say to me puncture me deep inside, make me bleed and feel something for you. You were right when you told me you were different, boy.” Her smile grew, and her eyes sheened over once again. “Or maybe you and that silver tongue of yours is just a way for you to look good in my eyes, to prove yourself, your resume as you call it—but either way, it’s working, Axel. We both know it.”
“I have a silver tongue. I’m a good salesman, I’ll admit that. I’m a smooth talker when I need to be I suppose, but right now, I take this seriously because you’re not okay. And I’m not playing any games with you, 800. Tryna get over. You’ve got a lot of trust issues. So do I—just different reasons as to why.”
They were quiet for a bit.
“Axel, you have a funny way of putting some of those things we talk about in a different context. I like that. You’re a good listener. No one is perfect, but uh, clearly, you’re a good catch. Very attractive, with a spiritual foundation. You’ve got swag. You work hard. You’re financially stable. Seems to love your mama. Good relationship with your sister and people in town look up to you. Admire you. The list is growing.”
He leaned back against the couch and they sat listening to Al B. Sure’s, ‘Nite and Day’.
“I don’t understand why you’re single. You must be holding back some dark, ugly secret.”
“I think the fact that I’ve killed two people in one year is dark and ugly enough.”
She burst out laughing.
“Yeah… that’s not all that great. Looks bad on paper, but I understand the context. If anything, once the details are understood, it makes you even sexier or more irresistible. Shows you can handle yourself.”
“I’m single because I want to be. I told you that.”
“But you don’t act like it. You seem to want more than that, Axel. I’m not your woman, but you treat me like I am. Calling me. Texting me. Gifts. You’re good to me…”
“I also told you that if I met the right person, I wouldn’t want to be single anymore, and that I don’t date casually. I date with intention. I am fine being single. I’m okay with it.”
“How can you want to be single, but not date casually?”
“You’re not listening.”
“I am listening, Axel. You’re contradicting yourself. Do you want some tea, honey? I’m sorry I didn’t offer. I fixed it while you were outside with my trash.”
“I’m not contradicting myself, and unless that tea has ice and a ton of sugar and lemon, no, I don’t want any.”
She scoffed, then laughed at him.
“So now you want diabetes and high blood pressure. Nice!” She giggled.
“Life is short. I want my food seasoned. My tea sweet. My gun loaded. My cigarettes by the carton. My beer cold, and my sex nasty. All I was saying is that all sorts of people can be good with being single. Meaning, it’s no sweat off our noses. We’re not sittin’ at home looking mopey or tossing and turning in our beds because we aren’t shacked up with some lady, or in a long-term relationship. I don’t want another dysfunctional relationship just for the sake of sayin’ I’m in one, or one that’s not goin’ anywhere.
“You could be with someone for twenty damn years and feel miserable as hell. I refuse to be that person, because I value each and every day the good Lord gives me, 800. I refuse for it to be wasted on someone who wouldn’t spare a second on me if it inconvenienced them in any way. People show you who the hell they are pretty fast. You just have to know what to look for. When I get married, I want it to be for life. I don’t want to have to do this shit over three, four, five times, or end up in someone’s court squabbling over visitation and alimony. I’m not gettin’ any younger, either. I want to get married and have a few kids one day, with just one woman,” he held up his finger, “and still be young enough to outrun my children, play with them so much that they fall asleep hard. So, I’m just not into lost causes, while still dating with intention.”
“You seem to have pretty high standards.”
“I do. Everyone who is worth a damn should.”
“Do you think you’ll ever get married?”
“I have faith that I’ll meet the right woman and settle down, English. The lady for me might live all the way in London, have an amazing British accent, and drive one of those crazy double decker buses, or she might be English in a different way… sippin’ tea right now while lying on a purple couch, smelling like fresh lavender, vanilla and mint, and looking pretty as a daisy.”