Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 136029 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 680(@200wpm)___ 544(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136029 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 680(@200wpm)___ 544(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
“You want guardianship,” I say aloud, letting the reality into the air.
He barely blinks. “I can’t ask you to do this with me.” He keeps an arm on the back of my chair, but he doesn’t touch me.
I feel myself packing on life vest after life vest. Abs tight, muscles flexed. I can barely slouch a fucking inch. And I’m just staring at the love of my life—the guy who’s as stubborn as me—and I’m falling in love with him. More and more.
Even if I’m scared.
“You’re ready to be a dad?” I ask. “Right now?”
Farrow tilts his head from side to side. “I don’t know.” Honest to God, he looks terrified.
“I thought you knew everything,” I joke.
His smile flickers in and out. “Don’t worry, I still know more than you, wolf scout.”
I inhale deeper. “I’m not worried.”
“Yeah?” He nods.
“Yeah.”
His eyes dance over me. “Maybe I’m not ready, maybe I am.” He breathes in. “But he needs someone to be there for him. All-in for him. And I can do that. That’s the way I see it.”
All-in for him.
When I was born, my parents weren’t ready to be parents. I was an accident that surprised them at a shitty time in their lives, and they needed a lot of fucking support. Most came from family, and they provided this unconditional, pure love.
Giving that to someone else feels right.
But I can’t deny the way my stomach twists like it’s ripping itself apart.
“Maximoff,” Farrow breathes. “This is fast, even for me. If you’re not behind this, if this is going to ruin us, then you need to tell me.”
“Nothing is going to ruin us,” I say immediately. No hesitation. I don’t believe for a second this could.
Farrow puts his fist to his mouth in thought. “You’re twenty-three.”
“My mom was twenty-three when she had me.” That’s a weird fact that I send into the air. My face scrunches. “But like you said, he needs someone to be there for him. I get that.”
Farrow nods. “If I’m going to be taking care of a baby. Shit is going to change.”
My head whirls. Words get lost on my tongue. We sit in a heavy silence for what feels like forever but can only be a minute or two.
“Say something, please,” Farrow whispers.
I can’t fight this pressure on my chest anymore. “It’s fast,” I say softly, my throat closing. “Probably too fast for me.”
Farrow opens his mouth, and I cut him off quickly, “But I need you to choose this.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t if you’re not ready.”
Emotion tries to surge up, but I’m pretty good at pushing it down. Only my eyes burn, fighting back something stronger. He slides his chair closer, our knees knocking together.
“Have you ever read Nicomachean Ethics?” I ask in a whisper.
He gives me a look like you know I haven’t.
I don’t break from his eyes. “Aristotle says there are three types of friendships. Friends for usefulness. Friends for pleasure. And then there’s true friendship. Friends that do things in pursuit of good for each other. Not for any other reason.” I take a deeper breath. “You don’t even hesitate for Donnelly. It’s just something you need to do for him, and I get that. Because if it were Janie, I’d need to do it too. And you wouldn’t stop me.”
“You can stop me,” Farrow says through his own bloodshot eyes.
I can’t.
I can’t.
“I can’t,” I say and release the pain on my chest. “I don’t want to.”
I reach for his hand. His thumb glides over the wedding band on my finger. His ring. Still on me. Waiting for him. “I don’t love life-altering change,” I remind him. “It freaks me the hell out, but there’s not a single person I would rather do this with than you.”
“Good.” He nods. “Because I couldn’t do this without you.”
That hits me. Because he’s older—and I don’t know, he acts like he can do a lot of fucking stuff on his own. Without me.
We’re quiet for the next few minutes. Just touching each other’s hands and letting our breaths slow. Settling into this decision. It’s not long before Donnelly returns with three bags of chips and cans of Fizz.
“They were out of Fizz Life,” Donnelly says as Farrow stands. “Tried to find another machine, but shit, this hospital is confusing…” He stops talking and glances between me and Farrow. Confusion pleats his brows. “What—what’d I miss?” He drops the snacks and cans on the desk.
Farrow takes a step forward. “I’m going to become the guardian.”
Donnelly shakes his head with force. “No, I can’t ask you.”
“You don’t have to.”
His face cracks, and Farrow steps closer to put his arms around him just as Donnelly breaks down, bringing his own shirt up to cover his face.
Aristotle said it best.
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
13
MAXIMOFF HALE