Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 97466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
18
HUGH
After cleaning Oscar up, I lay beside him until he dozed off. Once his breathing turned rhythmic, I opened my eyes to study him.
Spending time with him and his family today had been… eye-opening. I finally felt like another layer of his complex shell had broken apart, revealing a kind of tender vulnerability underneath.
He wanted so much to be loved, to be included and welcomed into his big gregarious family, but for some reason, he held himself apart. He resisted all of their overtures and kept a clear wall up between himself and every other member of the large, loving family.
I just couldn’t figure out why.
His vow against falling in love made sense to me, even though I didn’t agree with it. I understood “once bitten, twice shy” from personal experience. Even though my reaction to being burned was different from his, I still understood it.
But family love wasn’t the same. Was it? It wasn’t like he’d given his heart to another family in the past and had them walk away…
I blinked at him as a possible explanation became obvious. He never talked about his father, but I knew he’d left when Oscar was young. Was that it? Was he afraid of giving his heart to the Flower Family because they, too, might leave him one day?
How could he possibly think that when there were so many of them and they were all incredibly happy to have him in their lives?
Suddenly, I remembered the centerpiece on the dining table at Oscar’s parents’ house. It was a riotous collection of colorful flowers distributed unevenly between a collection of cut-crystal vases. Oscar’s brother Heath had explained that the botanical designs curled around each vase represented Birch, Gladiolus, Hyacinth, Lily, Jasmine, Rose, Marigold, Heath, Sage, and Basil. Ten vases, all different, but all designed to go together. They represented the Flower Family, and Oscar had gifted them to Gloria and Birch for their crystal anniversary.
That wasn’t the gesture of a man who didn’t love his family.
Gloria and Birch’s home had been full of love. Full of real-life examples of the kind of happily ever after I valued so highly. Oscar was surrounded by it.
Imagine being surrounded by the very thing you think you can’t ever have. No wonder he tried to keep his distance from them.
I reached out and ran a fingertip across one of his eyebrows and down the side of his face. I didn’t want him to sleep; I wanted him to wake up and share his body with me again, share his heart with me, even though I knew he’d never admit that’s what he was doing…
But he was.
Oscar Overton was a lover. He just didn’t want to be, and he fought it tooth and nail. It was almost like he was willing to love someone as long as he didn’t admit that’s what it was.
The realization probably should have given me pause. Instead, it gave me ideas…
“You’re smiling,” he mumbled, cracking open one eye. “It’s creepy.”
“Just mentally fitting you for a harness and chains.”
He grunted and rolled closer to me, burying his face in my chest. “Mm, sounds fun.” The warm caress of his breath on my skin felt intimate and dear.
“How can you be sleepy? It’s the middle of the day. You only had one drink despite double-fisting for most of the morning.”
“Sex stupor.”
I kissed the top of his head, feeling lighter than I had in months. Possibly longer. “Hey, I was wondering…”
“Mm.”
I found his hand and tangled my fingers in his. “This fake-dating thing has worked out pretty well so far for both of us, right?”
“Mm.”
“So what if we just… keep it up until after Hyacinth’s wedding? I mean, the holidays are usually the worst when you’re single, right? Everyone giving you looks for not having someone at Thanksgiving or holiday parties. And don’t get me started about Christmas dinner. What if… what if we pretended to be together so we didn’t have to worry about all that pressure? We already know we enjoy spending time together. And the sex is good.”
“Good? The sex is fucking epic.” He pulled away from the snuggle and blinked sleepy eyes at me. “You’d do that? But what if…”
“What if we just don’t overthink it? The truth is…” I hesitated, but looking at Oscar’s suddenly vulnerable face, I couldn’t hold back. “I really hated the way we left things after the Cape. I understood why you left. Things felt different that weekend, right? Too…” Close to an actual relationship. “…undefined. I’m sure you wanted to put space between us so that I wouldn’t fall in love with you.” Too late. “But I’ve missed your friendship.”
“You missed the pictures of Frank. And my commentary on your deplorable date fashion choices.”
My heart squeezed at this obvious deflection. Like no one could miss Oscar himself? His intelligence, his wicked humor, his pure heart?