Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 97466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
“I see.” He nodded slowly. “There’s some truth to that. There was a time I considered him my first love. He was definitely the first man I tried to picture a future with. He’s the one I have the most history with. And I suppose there have been moments where I’ve thought, if neither of us got married, perhaps we’d spend our sunset years rocking together on his porch—”
The coffee sat heavy on my stomach. “You?” I demanded. “On a ranch—?”
“I grew up on a ranch, you remember. Admittedly, only as the housekeeper’s son, but I do still know how to ride a horse.”
“—in Texas—”
“Boone’s ranch is in Wyoming,” he corrected.
“—at least a thousand miles from Leandro in SoHo, the only man you’ll trust to cut your hair—”
Oscar smiled. “Well, I do have a plane.”
“—and the cell reception must be terrible—”
“That wasn’t as much of a consideration until I started texting certain people all day and night.”
“—and you’d be miserable.”
“Not miserable,” he argued. He considered this for a moment, then added, “Probably. But in any case, it’s a moot point. Boone has Richard now. Don’t ask me how in the world a grumpy rancher ended up falling for a rich daddy’s boy, but the pissant prima donna was apparently born for ranch life. He’s rescuing animals or some such.” He rolled his eyes good-humoredly. “They’re madly in love. Whereas, to answer your question, Boone and I were not.”
“Oh.”
“As I pointed out—and you seem to have forgotten, perhaps due to some sort of orgasm-induced delirium—it was after meeting you that I recognized I’d never really been in love. At least not the sweeping, cinematic sort. Boone and I wanted different things out of life, and we wanted them more than we wanted each other.” Oscar shook his head. “The man actually came to New York and, if gossip is to be believed, made a spectacle of himself trying to win Richard’s hand.” He shuddered delicately. “Making a public declaration of affection when he wasn’t sure of Richard’s answer? God, I would never.”
“Because you’ve never really been in love,” I repeated, starting to feel the beginnings of a strange kind of hope. Twice now, he’d implied it wasn’t until meeting me that he’d begun to realize what love was. What could he possibly mean by that?
“Precisely.”
“And because you haven’t, you therefore lack the capacity. The talent,” I went on. “Do I have that right?”
He shrugged. “More or less.”
“Huh. I have to say, Oscar, you’re maybe the smartest man I’ve ever met…”
He shrugged modestly. “Yes, well…”
“Which is why I’m shocked that your rationale is the most asinine thing I’ve ever heard.”
The accusation seemed to surprise him. “My rationale is the result of years of trying and failing, a never-ending stream of painful disappointments, Hugh, not just for myself but for anyone who had the misfortune of trying to be in a relationship with me. I didn’t come to it lightly. And if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to change the subject because I really don’t want my bad attitude on relationships to rub off on you.” His expression softened. “I like that you’re a romantic. It’s sweet.”
I kicked him in the shin. “Don’t be condescending,” I said with a laugh. “It’s unattractive.”
His eyes danced. “Why don’t I make it up to you in the shower? James and Sawyer were very generous in their bathroom renovations, and I’m not sure you got the chance to appreciate it as thoroughly as you could have last night.”
I let him change the tone of our conversation. Flirty and fun Oscar was as enjoyable as serious and vulnerable Oscar in a different way, and because I knew Oscar well, I recognized that pushing him further would only make him dig his heels in. I’d earn myself a one-way ticket to alone-town tonight when I wanted to enjoy every minute of our limited time together. There would be plenty of time for me to overthink this later.
After exchanging sloppy, wet blowjobs in the shower, we dressed and ventured outside to find the rest of the wedding guests. The ceremony wasn’t scheduled until sunset, but most of the grooms’ family and friends were already making their way out to the beach to enjoy the day together. As soon as I noticed a group of guests playing a lawn game with colorful balls, I grabbed my camera and headed over to capture some shots.
The weather was perfect, deep blue sky with a light breeze. The sound of birds overlaid the faint titter of talking and laughing from the people on the beach. Several men took turns modeling their Speedos before chasing each other into the water with loud whoops.
“You love this,” Oscar said after a little while. He’d left a conversation with one of the grooms to bring me a cold bottle of water. I thanked him and set it down in the grass while I flicked through the stills on my camera screen. Shade from a nearby pitch pine tree made it possible to find the best shots.