Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 86455 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86455 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
She apparently didn’t want to hear it. Unable to leave, unwilling to talk, she pressed forward and grabbed him. The boots gave her a few inches in height, and her mouth sealed easily over his. Hawk, however, was irritated and not in the mood, especially since she was only doing it to distract him.
He leaned back and broke their kiss. “Don’t,” he told her.
“I want to,” she insisted, moving in again. He put his hands on her shoulders and kept her back. “This isn’t-”
“Fuck me,” she whispered in a voice that was heavy with tequila and, he couldn’t deny, desire. She was trying to distract him, but she also wanted him. It had always been that way between them: halfway to having their clothes off, no matter where they were. But his Angel wouldn’t say it like that, and she wouldn’t do this. She was hurting, and he had caused it- somehow- or wasn’t making it better. This was just as big a sin, he supposed, since she’d come to rely on him to save her when she needed it.
“You-” he began.
“Fuck me, Hawk,” she insisted. “We don’t have to go anywhere,” she offered. “Just here. In your truck. You don’t have to take me anywhere.” She grinned at him. “Just take me here.”
She started to unbutton her blouse, and that’s when Hawk snapped. He pushed her back against the truck suddenly, hopefully not hard enough to hurt her but enough to jar some sense into her.
“Stop!” he said roughly, the combination of the push and his voice making her pause.
He reached into his jeans pocket, dug out the medal that he’d been carrying around with him, and pressed it into her hand. She stared down at it. Hawk leaned in so that his lips brushed her cheek and ended up at her ear. “If you aren’t strong enough to hold onto who you are,” he told her, “then I’ll hold on for you.”
Chapter 42
Tildy opened her eyes in the dark, blurry and confused. Maybe she was still in the badlands; maybe she’d never get out. Her throat was raw, and her face was wet. Had she been crying, or was it the rain? She tried to push herself up. There was a light and a noise. She turned to see a door opening, illuminating the darkness. She sobbed, her panic breaking as she realized she wasn’t still lost.
“Hey,” Hawk said gently, settling onto the bed next to her. She couldn’t stop herself from grabbing him and holding onto him with everything she had. He brought up his hands and for a brief second, she thought he would push her away- a thought that only made her cry harder. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her. “You called my name,” he told her.
Tildy licked her dry lips and tried to focus on her surroundings. She was in Hawk’s house, she remembered, in his bed. He’d undressed her and laid her down, but then he’d left her alone.
“I was lost again,” she whispered. “I- I didn’t know where I was. I thought I was... back there.”
“My fault,” he told her. “I should’ve left a light on.”
“I’m sorry,” she told him, for lack of anything better to say. She remembered now how she’d thrown herself at him and how he’d turned her down. She was glad it was dark in the room so he couldn’t see her face turn red from humiliation.
“It’s not your fault, Tildy,” he insisted. He rubbed her back, his hands gliding over the bra he’d left on her. “Does this happen a lot?”
Tildy grimaced. He didn’t need to know how often she ended up back in the canyon, waiting to be rescued. “Sometimes,” she replied, and, to deflect any more questions, she said, “Stay with me.”
Hawk was silent and she could sense him thinking it over. He didn’t say anything, but he pulled the sheet down and slid under it. His head hit the pillow next to hers, and she curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder. She didn’t think she could actually fall asleep again, but it still felt good to have him there beside her.
She pulled him closer. She wasn’t stupid. She couldn’t force him to do anything- not even to kiss her. All she had to do was convince him. “I need you,” she whispered.
“I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe.”
Hawk didn’t move though, so she lifted the sheet and slid her leg over his hips. “Be with me,” she demanded, as she moved on top of him.
Instead of giving in, he sighed. “Tildy, don’t do this again.”
She shook her head. It wasn’t the same this time. She was clearer now than she had been earlier. She knew this wouldn’t solve anything, but it didn’t stop her from wanting it anyway.
She threaded her hands through his thick, black hair and brushed her lips against his. “We’ll follow your rules,” she coaxed.